case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2017-05-14 03:29 pm

[ SECRET POST #3784 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3784 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 40 secrets from Secret Submission Post #542.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Transcript by OP

[personal profile] fscom 2017-05-14 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Cut for length.

Re: Transcript by OP

[personal profile] fscom 2017-05-14 07:32 pm (UTC)(link)
I haven’t made a secret in years, but I have nowhere to talk about this, so here I am. *deep breath*

I have grown up admiring a certain voice actor, having a crush on him ever since I was a kid. As I got older, I’ve realized he’s also a brilliant stage actor and have seen him in numerous plays since. He’s become my main inspiration and one of the major reasons I’ve decided to apply for the academy of dramatic arts. It took quite a bit of time and lots of hard work, but three years ago I’ve made it and now I’m close to actually graduating.

My dream was to some day share the stage with him, my favorite actor, and last week I’ve found out I’ve got a small part in a new play he’s going to be in as well. Yesterday, I’ve met him and I feel like I’m actually dreaming. My peers have no idea just how much this means to me, for them he’s just another actor, we’ve met and worked with a lot much more famous actors, but he is just so, so special to me. I am lost and mesmerized, he’s as lovely as I always thought he’d be, and I feel like running away because I’m not sure I can take it. I’ve been a fan for half of my life and now I have the privilege to do the job I love more than anything while sharing the stage with someone who got me into it in the first place.

Not gonna lie, I don’t think I’ve ever really stopped being a little bit in love with him, but now? Ugh. I’m so scared being near him because I don’t want him to notice my lingering looks, I’d die if he did. I try not to, but I still stutter when I talk to him and I feel my face burning when he smiles at me, it’s like I’m twelve all over again. If I want to be able to do my job well, I have to get rid of these feelings, I know. How do I do this? How do I go from being a love struck fan to a proper colleague? I never thought this would happen, I always thought my crush would disappear once I meet him, but it’s only gotten worse.

Re: Transcript by OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-14 08:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Perhaps it would help if you tried to look at your interaction with him as playing a part? Private you is a fan, but you are going to play the proper colleague?

And see it all as a trat for you, It makes me happy to hear he is this nice person for real, even though I don't know you or him. I just like it when people are as nice as they seem.

Re: Transcript by OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-14 09:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Also: your crush = artificial construct based on guesswork.

Meeting him in reality in some ways should be like an entirely new person.

P.S. If he's been around and is relatively famous, he's dealt with "starstruck" folks before. You'll both be fine.

OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-15 10:18 am (UTC)(link)
I actually didn't know much about him before we've met, he always seemed like a nice person and an immensely talented artist, but meeting him for the first time actually was like meeting him for the first time. He's been around for about 16 years I think, but he's not exactly famous...like, he's pretty well-known in theater circles, but people who don't follow theater most likely have no idea who he is. I doubt he's ever had a lot of fans to deal with, to be honest.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-15 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
"I doubt he's ever had a lot of fans to deal with, to be honest."

Then please tell him he inspired you. Don't gush. BUT IT WILL MAKE HIS DAY.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-15 05:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, as I wrote in another comment, at this point he does know I've been a fan for years, which surprised him (his face lighting up was priceless), but I still haven't told him how much he's affected my career choice, I'm not sure I can say it without sounding like I'm gushing.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
Good on you.

Re: Transcript by OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-14 07:46 pm (UTC)(link)
You haven't made a secret in years, and you still haven't.

Re: Transcript by OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-14 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL

Re: Transcript by OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-15 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
How is this not a secret?

Re: Transcript by OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-15 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
IKR?

TBH I cringed pretty hard reading this, and I rarely cringe over a secret. I mean, there was that secret a couple of weeks back where someone talked about figuring out their celeb crush's commute on google maps, and people acted like it was super weird and stalkery (I didn't think it was) - whereas this to me feels a lot "weirder" than that secret did.

Sorry OP. It's genuinely nice that you accomplished so much and that you get to meet this person. It's just giving me Felicity-esque "I chose to go to NYU specifically to be close to you" vibes. Like if you ever actually told this person what you've said in this secret...oh god the second hand embarrassment is too much. But other than that, I truly do wish you all the best.

OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-15 10:29 am (UTC)(link)
Well, if I wasn't embarrassed by it, I wouldn't post it here. I didn't mean it to sound like I've done everything I did just to be close to this person some day (I've had plenty of opportunities to meet him before, but didn't think I could handle it -- turns out I was right). I have no intentions to tell them how I feel, it would be awkward and pointless, so don't worry :)

Thank you for your good wishes :)

Re: Transcript by OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-14 08:25 pm (UTC)(link)
OP, What you need to do is mentally build a wall between your fandom crush and this guy you know. The more you work together, the easier it will be. But know this, if you sincerely thank this person for inspiring you it may make life a whole lot easier for everyone. He'll understand why you've been a stammering bundle of nerves and you will relax because your secret will be out.

Re: Transcript by OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-15 07:11 am (UTC)(link)
this

OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-15 11:04 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I get what you're saying and you're right. Actually, the day after I've made this secret, we were having a rehearsal and I think I must have acted odd or something, because he later came over to me and asked me if I was alright. So, yeah, I didn't want him to think I was unhappy with the part I've got or anything, so I just fessed up to being nervous around him because I was a fan of his since I was a kid. He seemed genuinely surprised at first, but then a smile lit up his face and he even gave me a sort of a brief hug (and I almost died, but it did help me to relax a bit).

Obviously, I didn't tell him about my feelings, I'm not a moron, but, yeah, him being all lovely and an absolute sweetheart doesn't help with my crush at all.

Re: Transcript by OP

(Anonymous) 2017-05-15 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
I thought this was sweet. Congratulations on achieving your dream OP! And as someone said above, just concentrate on being professional. :)