case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2017-05-15 07:32 pm

[ SECRET POST #3785 ]


⌈ Secret Post #3785 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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02. [repeat]


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03.
[Grey's Anatomy]


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04.
[iZombie]


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05.
[Matthew Daddario]


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06.
[Sleepy Hollow]


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07.
[Doctor Who]













Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 32 secrets from Secret Submission Post #542.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
Was this one of those "he was chasing her, she pretended to twist her ankle so she could get caught' scenarios? Because that one is a classic for a reason.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
OP

This "play hard to get" cultural trope needs to seriously die. Whether deliberately or not, encouraging "women give mixed messages" as a guide to men interacting with them is a really bad way to go about things.

There's a reason why "active consent" is A Thing. I saw a writeup somewhere which summarized it really well: at the beginning of a relationship consent is more overt and verbal, while as it evolves it becomes more subtly nonverbal. But it's *always there* and always obtained without duress or impairment, and that's what's crucial.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Bring out the consent forms and the notary public then, bu all means.

And they said the Victorians were puritanical.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
If you equate verbal consent with notary forms.... I feel so sorry for you.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
OP

I... literally wrote "verbal"????? Your reading comprehension is a bit off.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
Verbal consent leads to she said he daid scenarios. If you are going to be completely joyless in your pursuit of sex, you may as well go whole hog.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
I don't even agree with your secret, OP, but the person you're talking to plainly has some pretty crap opinions and is not worth your time.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
I don't agree with your secret. I don't think the scene gives us reason to question Meredith's ability to consent. And it bothers me when people are too black-and-white on the whole drinking/consent issue, because I think it's detrimental to the ongoing and very important consent/rape culture conversation. People become understandably annoyed when you tell them that the multiple instances of thoroughly consensual sex they've had while mildly drunk were actually rape, or simply were Not Okay.

That said, I actually do agree with what you're saying in this comment. I find the whole "playing hard to get" trope annoying most of the time, and while I don't feel that it's inherently problematic, the tremendous prevalence of it is.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
People become understandably annoyed when you tell them that the multiple instances of thoroughly consensual sex they've had while mildly drunk were actually rape, or simply were Not Okay.

Ugh, yes. So many people seem incapable of comprehending that there is an enormous spectrum between "had a beer or two & are now slightly buzzed" and "are so wasted that you aren't going to remember this in the morning." The latter is not cool, but you can be the former and be entirely capable of giving informed consent.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 09:48 am (UTC)(link)
But women do often give mixed message. As do men, for the record. It's a fact of life, not just a fictional trope.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 06:31 pm (UTC)(link)
nyart

It's usually only applied to women though, both in fiction and real life.

(Anonymous) 2017-05-16 07:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Fiction: Maybe, real life: Not so much.