case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2017-03-15 06:40 pm

[ SECRET POST #3724 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3724 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.









[Steven Universe]






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(Anonymous) 2017-03-15 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
That being said, I definitely think there is more sheltering going on these days. I mean, my god, parents set up "play dates" now. The fuck? When I was a kid I just went over to my friend's house and knocked, or telephoned first if they weren't just next door to me.

Also anecdotally I've been hearing parents won't let their kids out of their sight anymore because omfgpedos. Never mind that it's statistically more likely the omfgpedo is the family friend or a relative.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-15 11:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Like... I think my experience was pretty typical, and in my experience, play dates were a thing in like kindergarten and first grade and that time period. Which makes sense to me, cause it's not like kids are really great at arranging schedules at 6 or 7. It's not like parents are scheduling all their kids' leisure time till they're 40. I do think there probably is too much sheltering but at the same time I think there's a tendency to view things at the extremes and make mountains out of molehills.
sarillia: (Default)

[personal profile] sarillia 2017-03-15 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
I only heard about "play dates" in cartoons when I was little. How did it become a "kids these days" talking point 20 years later?

(Anonymous) 2017-03-15 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm 28 and my parents absolutely had to arrange "play dates" with friends. We lived in the country, there was nowhere to knock.

I don't really see anything wrong with parents having a sense of where their kids are, though. I seriously don't get the nostalgia about letting your kids wander wild. It's not "sheltering" your kids, it's being responsible and recognizing that small humans need some semblance of monitoring.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-15 11:51 pm (UTC)(link)
DA. But there is such a thing as too much monitoring. When I was a kid, our backyard opened up into the neighborhood park, like every other house on our street did. My mom pretty much NEVER sat outside and watched us. She'd do her thing inside and peek out the window every now and then to check on us.

These days it feels like people expect everyone to be watching every move your kid makes like a hawk. Like, it's an obligation to be outside and watching your kids even when they're playing pretty much literally in their backyard.

Like, I don't know, if we needed Mom, we shrieked for her. Or ran to get her. She was always nearby, but she wasn't staring at us as we played to make sure we stayed 100% monitored. And it was the same for every parent on our street.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-15 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, we had that, too, and the amount of trouble we got into was insane. It's lucky that none of us were seriously injured or even killed. Some of the things that we got into could have easily gone that way. I don't blame parents for being more watchful, especially given that neighborhoods are not how they used to be; people move more often - they don't stick with the same jobs or areas. I've lived in my house for 8 years and not a single neighbor that was here when I moved in is here now.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-16 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
I think learning how to get into trouble and get out of trouble is a valuable lesson that kids need to learn without their parents watching every move and swooping in to save the day the moment they get a bruise.

We always had adults (and plenty of) within shouting distance of us and while there were some injuries (mostly twisted ankles and scrapes) nothing really bad ever happened to any of us.

I don't know, there's something to be said for trusting your kids to not be morons. People generally try to live up to expectations. If you expect them to be stupid and clueless all the time, they're going to be. If you trust them to be responsible and careful more, then they'll learn to be because you trust them.

Growing up we were never without someone nearby to help if we needed it, but nobody hovered over us either. I feel like that was a healthier way for kids to grow up because it fostered independence instead of dependence. I've seen people rip into parents for having the nerve to read a book on a park bench while their kids play ten feet away these days and I just... can't fathom the assumption that eyes need to be on the kid every second.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-16 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
I find that - ripping apart a parent for reading a book - to be as ridiculous. There is a lot of room in the middle. I wouldn't let my kids going running around this neighborhood, where I know everyone, but I would drop them off at the park where there are parents while I run to the grocery store.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-16 01:40 am (UTC)(link)
Even for the country, 28 is a bit grown up for playdates though. Time to stand up to your parents or get yourself a real date.
dancingmouse: (Default)

[personal profile] dancingmouse 2017-03-16 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
You misread. They stated their age, which would put them in the "Sheltered Kid" category, and said they HAD to have play dates arranged because they LIVED in the country. Note how those two words are in past tense.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2017-03-16 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
Play dates (while not called that) were a thing in my day - I think it's a city thing, where your parents actually have to bring you to your friend by car or vice versa.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-16 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
Wait, what's wrong with play dates? I was born in 1980 and we had those all the time.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-16 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Were you still having them when you were 14? If so, you were pretty weird by 90s standards. Less so today.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-16 02:33 pm (UTC)(link)
I was 14 in the 1990s and by that point I was learning how to score weed on my own and hang around aimlessly on street corners with my friends.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-16 09:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Please provide evidence that a substantial number of kids - at least more than NY Times trend piece level - are having play dates at 14

(Anonymous) 2017-03-16 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Do your own research, kiddo.