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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2017-03-19 03:29 pm

[ SECRET POST #3728 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3728 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

















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(Anonymous) 2017-03-19 09:23 pm (UTC)(link)
That beginning about damn ripped my heart out.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-19 10:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't want to sound heartless, but everyone goes on and on about the beginning of UP being ~omg the saddest thing ever~ like Disney (and Disney/Pixar) doesn't start the beginning of every fucking film with someone losing a family member.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-19 10:20 pm (UTC)(link)
It's all about how it's presented. They showed their entire lives together up until her death so it's all in your face at once and provides a perfect explanation why the guy is the way he is without using too much screentime.

I personally find it more powerful than offscreen death or sudden accidental death for shock effect. Up kept it simple and realistic which obviously proved to be very effective.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-19 10:22 pm (UTC)(link)
*shrug* Fair enough I guess. I didn't find it overly sad. I found the shots of their lives together sweet and yeah she died and that's sad, but they literally had a whole life together, unlike most characters.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-19 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
DA. I think part of it is because they have their whole lives together, and also that we see their lives together. We have a context that we often don't with character deaths, a context full of small details and little hopes and tiny tragedies. There's a whole life there, and he lost it. Her. And it was the tiny things that got me most. Those plane tickets. That he brought her back to their old picnic place to give them to her. That she got sick then. That she knew she was dying. That she wanted him to survive without her. That fucking message she left in the book. It wasn't ... it was a different set of emotions, there's none of the shock and anger of a sudden death, there's just the helplessness and the inevitability and the complete loss of everything we just watched them have.

Also, you know, I think a lot of people maybe watched family go like that? Watched what happened to the partner left behind. I did, anyway. Not exactly, but close. It's hard watching someone you love be gutted from the inside out by the loss of someone who was by their side for fifty-plus years. It's a thing a lot of people do have to watch, though, and I think maybe UP hits a bit too close to home for a lot of people because of that?

(Anonymous) 2017-03-19 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
This. I'm a little taken aback that anyone would think it'd be less painful to lose someone you've loved and lived with your whole adult life, just because you had that time together. When someone like that dies, it leaves a very, very big whole in your life, bigger than when someone you've known for say, a year or two dies. It also means that most of your memories involve them in some way, and now your entire past adult life causes you pain.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-19 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not saying it hurts less. Of course it wouldn't hurt less. Just as someone who HAS lost people I knew well and people who I hadn't had that time with, I definitely prefer having that lifetime of memories to fall back on rather than thinking of all the 'what ifs' about the future you never had together.

I personally just didn't find the loss or character death any sadder than any other character that Disney's offed for plot reasons.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-20 12:31 am (UTC)(link)
Ellie's death itself isn't any more tragic than any other death, no. I think the treatment is a little different, though. Up is about grief itself to a very large extent. It isn't about growing up, it isn't about vengeance, it isn't about becoming a better person, it isn't about saving the kingdom, all things movies often use character deaths to fuel. It's about learning to survive grief. It's about Carl accepting Ellie's death, it's about him being able to let go of his obsessive reconstruction of their life, it's about him being able to involve himself in life without having her beside him, it's about him being able to put someone else, someone new and still living, before his promises to her, it's about him being able to fall back on those happy memories without the grief overwhelming him again. We're given, what, a three minute snapshot of their life at the start, a three minute glimpse of what he lost, and the entire rest of the movie is devoted to him learning how to survive that and move past it. And we accept that, because we saw Ellie, we saw what they had, we know why her death is that important to him.

I don't think anyone is saying that the fact of Ellie's death is intrinsically sadder than any other character Disney/Pixar has killed. Most of what I see is the acknowledgement that they went about it differently in Up. They involved the audience more intimately in both Carl and Ellie's life, Ellie's death, and then Carl's grief over Ellie's death. Because, well, that was the point. The movie, to a large extent, is about death, grief, and what it takes to move past it.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-19 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know, sometimes I think being alone all the time is harder because it's lonely for your whole life rather then just lonely at a certain point in time. I wish I had a life partner myself even if I'm not into dating.

But it's hard to avoid the heartbreak of death entirely anyway, the older you get the more it's going to happen. I think that's why a lot of people get depression when they're older, because they're seeing so much of their friends and family die.
kallanda_lee: (Default)

[personal profile] kallanda_lee 2017-03-19 11:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I guess I'll never quite understand this mentality, because I think it's better to have pain after than not to ever feel anything at all.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-20 08:36 am (UTC)(link)
I agree. Lost a friend to suicide and saw the aftermath, what followed was years of agonizing pain and confusion. But, there's no way in hell I'd wish I'd never met her or something like that. She touched my life, and to have those short few years with her, I'd do it all again.

(Also recently had a few months where I actually didn't feel. Lost most of my ability to empathize, it was very disconcerting. There was no feeling of relief, just nothing. )

(Anonymous) 2017-03-20 02:47 pm (UTC)(link)
The pain of losing someone you truly loved lasts forever. Happiness on the other hand is just a temporary state of mind.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-20 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
If happiness is only a fleeting state of mind. Then what do you really have to lose? And what do you stand to gain?

To me, being safe and not letting people in because it'll hurt to lose them. Well, it sounds like a life half lived.

maskitheclown: (Default)

[personal profile] maskitheclown 2017-03-20 06:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Eh, as someone who will also die alone, I like to say this to myself to feel less miserable :D sour grapes etc :D

(Anonymous) 2017-03-20 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
All you have to do is die first and then there's no problem. Or go senile before the other person dies.

(Anonymous) 2017-03-20 04:29 am (UTC)(link)
Smoke and/or be a man and the odds are in your favour!

(Anonymous) 2017-03-20 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
At least, my dear,
You did not have to live to see me die.

Considering now how many things I did that must have caused you pain,
Sweating at certain memories, blushing dark blood, unable
To gather home my scattered thoughts that graze the forbidden hills, cropping the mind-bane,
I cut from the hedge for crook the one disservice
I never did you, – you never saw me die.

I find in my disorderly files among unfinished
Poems, and photographs of picnics on the rocks, letters from you in your bold hand.
I find in the pocket of a coat I could not bring myself to give away
A knotted handkerchief, containing columbine-seeds.
A few more moments such as these and I shall have paid all.

Not that you ever –
O, love inflexible, O militant forgiveness, I know
You kept no books against me! In my own hand
Are written down the sum and the crude items of my inadequacy.

It is only that there are moments when for the sake of a little quiet in the brawling mind I must search out,
Recorded in my favour,
One princely gift.
The most I ever did for you was to outlive you.
But that is much.

-Edna St Vincent Millay

(Anonymous) 2017-03-20 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Jesus Christ, anon. I'm a day late, and you'll probably never see this, but you made me sob while reading this thread.
amorymuerte: blue sky (Default)

[personal profile] amorymuerte 2017-03-21 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
oh man, me too. this whole thread has gotten me, but that poem. Oh man.
litalex: Jon Stewart in princess drag (PrettyInPink!JonStewart)

[personal profile] litalex 2017-03-20 04:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, that beginning is a tear-jerker.

But as I'm probably not the first (or last) to quote :

'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
~ Alfred, Lord Tennyson
Edited 2017-03-20 16:06 (UTC)