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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2017-08-05 04:15 pm

[ SECRET POST #3867 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3867 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.















Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 43 secrets from Secret Submission Post #554.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-05 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think most people are under that illusion that everyone is down with YKINMK, but just because it's not universal doesn't mean everyone is going to shrug it off. I mean, I know people who, for one reason or another, aren't aware that it's horrendously bad manners to grab food off someone else's plate without asking permission. But I expect the people dining with me to mind their damn manners and keep their hands to themselves, regardless of how they might feel personally,and I'm definitely going to say something if they do otherwise.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-05 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
But people have various reasons - right or wrong - for not thinking that YKINMK is a good standard.

It's not just that kids these days are rude, which is how you and everyone else frames it.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-05 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm really not sure what your argument is. YKINMK ia simply about not being a judgmental asshat just because a specific kink isn't your cup of tea. I'm sure there are some people who feel justified in being a judgmental asshat and find the YKINMK concept very inconvenient, but oh well, that's unfortunate.

You could also argue that hey, people who grab food off other people's plates also have lots of reasons why they don't think "keep your hands off my damn food" is a good standard. Maybe they'd argue that it's not about manners, it's just that they're super hungry! I'm still not sure why their opinions of entitlement about food that's not theirs should matter.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-05 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
DA - One thing I think, the anti-YKINMY attitude has always existed, but here's the thing. I think deep down we all know that in the right circumstances, we'd steal food from someone else's plate. We'd find a reason to justify why the person deserved it, and why the food was just too tasty. So instead of letting fandom dissolve into a food grabbing free-for-all we had to look at each other and agree not to steal food. Because we know that when people get emotionally involved in things they will find ways to justify themselves and think they really, really deserve to steal that food. So unless a real person is being actually harmed, scammed, stalked, harassed, you don't steal food.

And fandom now seems to be allowing this idea if you're really really REALLY sure you're justified in grabbing that food, go for it.

But even if I think Steve/Sam is super-racist, even if I know racism is bad, even if am 100% sure that by sending nasty messages to shippers I am only hurting racists... there are probably tons of other fans who would scoff at the idea that Steve/Sam is racist and some that are 100% convinced NOT shipping them is super-racist. And fandom is a better place if I just block the racists who ship Steve/Sam and other people block the racists who don't ship Steve/Sam and we don't cross the line into harassing each other.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-06 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
Why would Sam/Steve or Steve/Sam, for that matter, be racist? This genuinely makes zero sense.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-06 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
Well because Sam is black and Steve is white so if you ship them you're fetishizing black men. But if you don't ship them you think black men are disgusting and you're all about the whitecock.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-06 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
What a world.