case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2017-08-05 04:15 pm

[ SECRET POST #3867 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3867 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.















Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 43 secrets from Secret Submission Post #554.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-05 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I understand if you'd rather not comment, but could you explain why you don't subscribe to YKINMK? You tend to have a reasoned and thought out perspective on a lot of things even if I don't necessarily agree.
cbrachyrhynchos: (Default)

[personal profile] cbrachyrhynchos 2017-08-05 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Some stories really are about justifying sexual abuse. So it's reasonable to be skeptical about what's really going on behind grooming, lolita, or BDSM media where female partners are portrayed as really needing to be dominated.

And I'm on the record (to the point of being a bit of a crank) that a lot of m/m parts of fandom are into m/m as a fetish without really doing much for gay and bi men. I don't see tropes like uke/seme, ABO, or the perpetual obsession over top/bottom as without problems.

There are other things where I reserve the right to be privately judgy. I don't think Nazi cosplay is a good thing, either as a fetish or out in cons. Back when I was in fetish groups, firearm play was another thing that I felt was wrong as someone who was trained in extremely strict firearm safety from a young age. (Gun culture IMNSHO has been completely taken over by crazies and assholes asserting their right to open carry regardless of context or permission.)

YKINMK taken to extremes tends to shut those conversations down. I think there should be spaces where we can have those conversations (I see fandom secrets as one of them), but I'm not going to start hunting down age-play, slavery, ABO, and gun-play fics for the purpose of shitposting with "you suck."

(Anonymous) 2017-08-05 10:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Now that you mention it, Nazi cosplay and Nazi fetish fic (at its worst set in concentration camps) would actually one of the only exceptions I have when it comes to YKINMK, much more than the other things you mentioned. It's probably partly because it's actually illegal where I live, but in my opinion, that's much more problematic than some fangirls arguing over dumb yaoi tropes.
cbrachyrhynchos: (Default)

[personal profile] cbrachyrhynchos 2017-08-05 10:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Having 1) survived anti-bisexual intimate partner violence and 2) dealt with unwanted pressure for a threesome from partners who used their m/m media consumption as a shield, I disagree. But I'll admit my experiences of straight partners being violently abusive or creepy fetishistic about my sexuality probably has given me a big chip on my shoulder in this area.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-05 10:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Fair enough. Knowing quite a few people whose relatives died in the camps has given me my own chip.

(Anonymous) 2017-08-06 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
I subscribe to YKINMKATO, but I do think the way many people act about their kinks is not OK. Sometimes people can be very entitled or hypocritical about their kinks, or very disrespectful of other people and their boundaries.

I don't think any kink is inherently bad or wrong, but I do draw a line when people try to involve other people in their kinks without their consent, or behave in ways that infringe on others' boundaries. I also draw a line when people assume everyone must be into their kink, or make assumptions about real people based on their kink.

And I definitely have issues with the way some m/m and f/f fans treat real gay and bi people, or the people who think m/m or f/f is great for porn but think real world same-sex relationships are morally wrong or somehow lesser than straight relationships.