fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #3104 ]

[ SECRET POST #3104 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3104 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 071 secrets from Secret Submission Post #444.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"GOD BLESS AMERICA" Steve yelled as Tony went down on him. "MOXY" he screamed as he orgasmed. Tony grinned EGOTISTICALLY, his chest glowed with delight. He pulled out a wrench, "Are you ready to feel like a REAL SOLDIER Mr. Rogers?"

"OOHHH Tony SEMPAII SANNN" Steve gargled.
Tony looked around, unable to find lube, so instead, he used MOTOR OIL.

Steve cried and recited the declaration of independence as Tony shoved a wrench up his ass with motor oil. Tony laughed, taking a swig of PURE VODKA. Steve orgasmed and came and his come was apple pie flavoured. Tony licked it, "Mmm, tastes like HOME. Except not, because my father was abusive and never made apple pie." Tony cried, his eyes swimming in the ghosts of his past.
Steve embraced Tony with his manly arms and cried too.

"I NEED A DADDY STEVE. MINE WASN'T A FATHER." Tony cried, shuddering in Steve's All-American arms. "Get ready for daddy's love" Steve whispered sensually as his eyebrows wiggled with delight. Steve grabbed Babe Ruth's baseball bat. Tony's eyes widened in horror.

Since there was no lube he used APPLE PIE to grease up the bat and shoved it up Tony's ass with love. Tony let out a cry as the large wood entered his FLUTTERING ANUS.

pls no

OMFG I'm dying

Happy 4th of July y'all

I'm trying to count all the overdone Avengers cliches crammed into these few paragraphs and I still don't think I've gotten them all.

Huh, I've never actually read a Stony fic in its entirety so now some part of me will always assume they're ALL like this.

LOL! Individual fanfics are not like this, but the aggregate content of all Steve/Tony fanfics put together is pretty much exactly this.

This comment is like...if you snipped out the one stupid element from about 50 different Steve/Tony fics, and put those 50 stupid elements from 50 different fics all into one sex scene, this would be the result. :D

I'm just so, so confused by MOXY tbh D:

LOL I'm trying to figure out where that came from too...was the word ever said in any of the movies?

Re: 50 Shades of Asgard part 1/?

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-04 20:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: 50 Shades of Asgard part 1/?

intrigueing - 2015-07-04 21:00 (UTC) - Expand

Re: 50 Shades of Asgard part 1/?

(Anonymous) - 2015-07-05 06:23 (UTC) - Expand

Speaking of out of character...roflmao

sempai sann is a little ooc but the rest is good

A-

I am literally crying from laughing too hard.

Steve orgasmed and came and his come was apple pie flavoured. Tony licked it, "Mmm, tastes like HOME. Except not, because my father was abusive and never made apple pie." Tony cried, his eyes swimming in the ghosts of his past.

IIRC from 2012, this passage is basically avengerkink in a nutshell.