case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2017-09-05 06:47 pm

[ SECRET POST #3898 ]

⌈ Secret Post #3898 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.





[Game of Thrones, Tormund/Brienne]


[Anna Faris]


[The Defenders]


[Me Before You/Still Me (novel series) /Book: Still Me by Christopher Reeve]


[James Cameron vs. Patty Jenkins, Wonder Woman]


Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 21 secrets from Secret Submission Post #557.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2017-09-05 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
I just had the realization I haven't really written much since my diagnosis either.


Though I never did fandom stuff well. Just original stuff.
mrs_don_draper: (Blue dress)

[personal profile] mrs_don_draper 2017-09-05 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I completely relate. I didn't write anything from '12 to '13 for the exact same reason. It will come back to you. Hang in there. <3

(Anonymous) 2017-09-05 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I stopped writing when my mental illness hit really hard. I got my writing back. It takes more work now, but I'm also a better writer and continuing to improve. There's hope, OP, and I'm sure you can also find more fandoms to write in and new fandom friends are out there.

Good luck.
bookblather: A picture of Yomiko Readman looking at books with the text "bookgasm." (Default)

[personal profile] bookblather 2017-09-05 11:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey OP. Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone AT ALL, and that everything in your secret is something my depression has said to me. *hugs and love forever*

It takes time, but it does come back.

(Anonymous) 2017-09-05 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
OP, I know how you feel. I remember back in the height of my fandom days, I was writing an extraordinary amount, stuff that was popular in my fandom, and most importantly, I had so much fun writing it. I never had writer's block. But depression hit me hard and I've never been able to write like that since, and now I overthink my writing and I'm pretty sure I'm effectively a weaker writer than I was back ten years ago when I was a careless teenager.

But I'm sure both you and I could get it back if we tried. Any chance you might be able to start small? Just a oneshot of a scene you're imagining in your head?

(Anonymous) 2017-09-05 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel you so hard, OP. (Wow, that sounds pervy.)

I've been the same way. I used to write and update my fics regularly but fell into a hole several years ago and haven't been able to get out since. I can do the occasional fic here and there, but I don't have the stamina to tackle my long WIP and I hate that. :(
rosehiptea: (Default)

[personal profile] rosehiptea 2017-09-05 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I hear you. For a really long time I only wrote for Yuletide and that only because I'd been doing so many years. But I did get out of it and now I'm writing again. Just short stuff but short stuff is my thing and I'm trying to accept that. Depression had a lot to do with why I stopped. I really hope you can get back into writing. It is possible.

(Anonymous) 2017-09-05 11:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I feel for you, anon. I think it will come back, when everything else lets up a little? That's what happened to me. In the meantime, could you perhaps try a bit of editing of something you've got stashed away? Just to ease yourself in and help you feel that you're being productive.

I also find that chocolate helps, a bit like in Harry Potter.

Been there too

(Anonymous) 2017-09-06 12:01 am (UTC)(link)

I second all that's been said so far, OP, and I'll add this: It's not you. The inner circle never lets ANYONE in, because being elite and slamming the door in other people's faces is how they keep up the illusion that they're better and more important than anyone else.

Don't write for them, or their approval, because they'll never give it. Don't give them the satisfaction of hearing you scratching at the door because you want in.

Fuck 'em, I say. Write what makes you happy, and learn to love yourself. And take breaks whenever you need to. Read. Watch movies. Gather in experiences, because all of that will just enrich what you write in the future.

Re: Been there too

(Anonymous) 2017-09-06 03:55 am (UTC)(link)
THIS +1000

And I have no idea what fandoms these are, but who cares about the inner circle, especially when they all seem to just rehash their own ideas over and over. Do it for the fans who want a breath of fresh air. And do it because you like doing it.

darkmanifest: (Default)

[personal profile] darkmanifest 2017-09-06 12:50 am (UTC)(link)
I've been in this place. Depressed for years, block started in 2008 but didn't get hardcore until 2010 when all my fics ground to a halt (along with me life, but that's another whinge), I couldn't finish anything or get anywhere with anything new, couldn't even try to. I felt fucked up over it for years.

Last year, I won NaNoWriMo for the very first time after 8 failed tries (roughly since my block got bad). It's the first original story I've completed since I was a kid, the longest story I've ever written, period. It's pretty shit (needs so many revisions), but it's mine, it's finished, and I'm proud of it.

Fanfic writing hasn't really come back to me, I don't know that it ever will, and I really miss it. I'm not out of the woods yet, every goddamn thing is a struggle. But I found a little hope that I can still try to do this, and maybe you can too.

(Anonymous) 2017-09-06 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry, OP.

I've never been into writing, so I don't know how this feels, but the part about "ruined my fic" made me think about how I've seen writers re-write old stories, or write new ones that are thinly-veiled re-treads of old ones so they could improve the fic, now that they feel they can do a better job, or try to take things in a different direction. Don't see it as "I ruined it" see it as "I think that could have gone better and I can try that again."

(Anonymous) 2017-09-06 03:56 am (UTC)(link)

Artists do redraws of their old art to show how much they've improved. I think it's a-okay for writers to do the same.
sadiesockmonkey: (Default)

[personal profile] sadiesockmonkey 2017-09-06 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
I just wanted to send some positivity your way, OP.

Depression is insidious that way, taking away your passion for the things that bring you joy.

I promise you you can come out of this stronger and that your ability and desire to write will come back to you. But I'm sorry it's happening to you at all and I'm sorry it's happening now and I wish you a speedy recovery.
cakemage: (English major)

[personal profile] cakemage 2017-09-06 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
I understand completely, OP. I want nothing more than to be able to write the stories I have in my head, but for the past year, any attempt to do so ends in a panic attack, whether I'm trying to write fanfic or original stuff. The harder I try to write, the more jumbled and frantic my mind gets until I've worked myself into a sobbing mess. This isn't the first time it's happened, either. Early last year, I was able to write almost every day for about five months or so after having a three-year bout of not being able to write anything at all. I don't really know what triggers these long-term blocks or what, specifically stops them, other than waiting them out. It's been this way all of my adult life; I'll have a few months where I'm able to write thousands of words in one sitting and then I'll have years where I struggle to write one goddamn word of prose. It's annoying as fuck, especially when some of my writing teachers would tell me that writer's block isn't real and that I just need to pull myself up by my bootstraps and write, that I'm just lazy and looking for excuses. Even my therapist hasn't been much help, so believe me when I say that I identify so much with your secret's last two sentences in particular. You're not alone, OP. I'm sorry you're going through all of this and I'll keep my fingers crossed that we can both break out of our respective slumps and get back to doing what we love, and soon!

(Anonymous) 2017-09-06 09:12 am (UTC)(link)
It's wonderful to see that people are being so supportive. With all of the bitching that usually goes on in comment sections, it's nice to know we can still be good people when it's needed.

As I personally haven't had depression as bad as the op, I can't really offer anything apart from saying it does get better, and to hang in there. *hugs*