so i got rejected by my dream company without even getting an interview. i had someone working there in a high position forward my application and it was only and internship and they still rejected me.
and now i've fallen into this super deep pit of shitty depression and the worst part is that these weeks were my finals. i actually didn't manage to study for them at all and didn't do any of my essays so i skipped out on an exam today hoping that i'll be able to retake it. i'll pass even if i don't, but my prof is kinda super important in the industry and i'm stressing out so much. worst part is if i retake that exam i'm still not sure if i could pass it because it's a fucking horrible topic that i just can't wrap my head around and i feel like i SHOULD because it's part of my fucking job to know those things.
ugh.
and tomorrow is our end of semester party and i just don't feel ready to leave school yet and go out and work but worst of all APPLY because i'm scared shitless of application tests and interviews and all that shit and i don't want to work anywhere else but at that company, but i know if i want to have a chance there i have to gain work experience or something and that's a shitty mindset to bring to an application too. the other company that might take me and that seems interesting does work which i'm not a big fan of and they're in a different city and hiring long-term so i'm not sure how shitty it would be to apply there and then piss off the moment i get a chance at my dream company. the industry is pretty tight knit and all.
and today the guy who forwarded my application encouraged me to send it again "beginning next year" and i'm not sure if i should take that seriously or if he's just saying that, because he's just a nice guy and very encouraging to people in general.
ugggghhhh (whining ahead)
and now i've fallen into this super deep pit of shitty depression and the worst part is that these weeks were my finals. i actually didn't manage to study for them at all and didn't do any of my essays so i skipped out on an exam today hoping that i'll be able to retake it. i'll pass even if i don't, but my prof is kinda super important in the industry and i'm stressing out so much. worst part is if i retake that exam i'm still not sure if i could pass it because it's a fucking horrible topic that i just can't wrap my head around and i feel like i SHOULD because it's part of my fucking job to know those things.
ugh.
and tomorrow is our end of semester party and i just don't feel ready to leave school yet and go out and work but worst of all APPLY because i'm scared shitless of application tests and interviews and all that shit and i don't want to work anywhere else but at that company, but i know if i want to have a chance there i have to gain work experience or something and that's a shitty mindset to bring to an application too. the other company that might take me and that seems interesting does work which i'm not a big fan of and they're in a different city and hiring long-term so i'm not sure how shitty it would be to apply there and then piss off the moment i get a chance at my dream company. the industry is pretty tight knit and all.
and today the guy who forwarded my application encouraged me to send it again "beginning next year" and i'm not sure if i should take that seriously or if he's just saying that, because he's just a nice guy and very encouraging to people in general.