I used to feel this way about female characters for a long time, to be bluntly honest. I couldn't relate to most of them, because, well... they were presented solely as love interests and/or springboards for manpain and whatnot.

I eventually found a bunch of great women in some of my favorite stories/games... and even if they are love interests to someone, they have enough traits/personality/development to stand out on their own outside of the relationship. But I'm not gonna deny that it's very hard sometimes to find them, especially in the majority of Western-produced media.