This is a major issue for me too. I have a bf, but I never had a single date till almost 2 years ago (I was 25 when we got together) and so I just got used to the idea of women like me being complete persons whose selves did not hinge on being The Love Interest and nothing else, at least nothing else to any kind of serious degree. It keeps me from enjoying a lot of media I would otherwise be down with because if the only female character is just there for the boobs or the romance, that's very unpleasant. It not only makes me unable to relate to HER, it makes me unable to relate to the OTHER characters because it jars me out of the "people are people and I can identify with them as people" mindset as the narrative is telling me that "all women" (by means of the sole female representation) are just there for the boobs or the romance and therefore I can't immerse myself with the male characters because I feel like that's how they would see me too.