I totally agree with you on the alienating thing. I also haven't experienced much in terms of romantic love or relationship things go. Moreover, I actually identify with female characters who are professional and similarly unromantic (think like EVE from WALL-E). And I came to the realization that seeing characters I relate to a bit fall in love with the main character towards the end of the movie (despite being shown to NOT be attracted to them earlier on) with no explanation other than (1) the main character loves them, and (2) the main character is now either successful or has cool gadgets or has demonstrated how strong his love is for her -- that is incredibly alienating. I want to see things from her perspective: how and why does she fall in love with him (and no, I can't see myself falling in love with someone for the reasons I listed), what is she looking for, what does he bring to the table for her? Where is her agency in this decision? It kind of scares me when I can't answer those questions.

It made me realize that, if it's the female main character I relate to, media has done a really poor job of showing me how to fall in love; it really is only good at showing me how to suddenly be in love in response to the male main character deserving it. It's so creepy.

Anyway, I mostly just rant about the work as a whole or authors in general, but I can see how getting that feeling of alienation can turn you off an otherwise promising female character. Some love interests just get so short-changed by their movie that they literally bring the quality down.