My husband is another system member. So yes, he is fully aware of what's going on. *snrk* And we're monogamous, so it's just me and him. The system has avoided other relationships because of the remaining five of us, three are asexual, and two have polar opposite sexualities. (A straight guy and a straight girl.) There's just no way we could manage the logistics.
The general rule in our system (note that this is just ours, can't speak for others) is that a system member will continue to exist until we become so overburdened with trauma that we break apart, or if we are no longer 'needed' and integrate with someone else.
If it's a split, it's an unspeakably painful process of having your soul hacked apart and then having the parts rezed because the system still needs foot soldiers. If it's an integration, it can be peaceful and gentle or sad and rough, depending on what trauma caused your existence in the first place. Either way, it's a little more complex than someone 'just not showing up.' It's their essence being obliterated from the headspace, never to return. (Well, except for one. But she was a very special case.)
Re: Everything you wanted to know about DID/multi, but were afraid to ask.
The general rule in our system (note that this is just ours, can't speak for others) is that a system member will continue to exist until we become so overburdened with trauma that we break apart, or if we are no longer 'needed' and integrate with someone else.
If it's a split, it's an unspeakably painful process of having your soul hacked apart and then having the parts rezed because the system still needs foot soldiers. If it's an integration, it can be peaceful and gentle or sad and rough, depending on what trauma caused your existence in the first place. Either way, it's a little more complex than someone 'just not showing up.' It's their essence being obliterated from the headspace, never to return. (Well, except for one. But she was a very special case.)
--Rogan