Dean as a secret cutter, anorexic thumb-sucker. That is just...so far from how the man did and would cope with all the fucked-up-ness in his life.

Tony is a total asshole that everyone wants to punch and can't love and is secretly three years old.

Natasha is an inscrutable ice-maiden who never, ever smiles.

Clint is an idiot who can't tie his own shoes, over in the corner with Thor, who can't figure out how to use a toaster.

Bruce gets 'triggered' into the Hulk looking at pictures of people scowling and spends most of his time hiding in his lab.

Steve never swears, blushes at the sight of an ankle, and is a virgin.