Well... see that's the whole point of the secret -- that that's exactly what happens with, say, rape fic. They fetishize the act while simultaniously hating it in real life. The fetishizing isn't the problem -- fetishes are fetishes, no rhyme, no reason. Fetishizing gay people is no weirder than fetishizing hair or big boobs or whatever. No, it's the hating of real people that that's the problem.