^This. I think that's the issue, OP. You're advanced enough to see the flaws in your own work, but you probably need more practice and experience before you're able to overcome them. I totally feel you on that, it's such a frustrating place to be. I think the only solution is to give yourself a break and write more non-porn things, while reminding yourself that it doesn't matter. You're just throwing out words and seeing what happens.