At work: Have accidentally said "love you" to customers in the middle of the "bye/thank you/have a good day" process, fallen up the stairs on my first day in front of my new colleague, asked a bald man if the hair scrunchie I'd found by the counter was his, made a thinly-veiled dick joke to a superior who was visiting because apparently that's what my brain does when I'm nervous.

Elsewhere: Tried to challenge my brother in Scrabble over the word "one" (my brain kept pronouncing it "oh-ney"), set the oven on fire trying to make cheese on toast, and became convinced that I was a tree for two hours after trying ketamine. Never, ever again.