You're not a sick or disgusting person at all. I actually have a lot of thoughts on drawing strengths from fictional characters and I think it's perfectly legitimate.
Look at it this way:
A lot of people have role models or idols that they will never meet, never speak to, but still allow them to draw strength and courage in times that are hard. It's true that the person they idolize is real in an objective sense, but subjectively, a famous sports star or a politician is no more real to you than a fictional character is and you might wind up knowing the details of the latter more intimately than the former.
We're emotional and social creatures. We draw off of other's strengths. Stories are designed to provoke and inspire these emotional responses, so why should there be shame in having them? Basically, the source of your inspiration is human, and whether it's real is irrelevent.
Re: 142
Look at it this way:
A lot of people have role models or idols that they will never meet, never speak to, but still allow them to draw strength and courage in times that are hard. It's true that the person they idolize is real in an objective sense, but subjectively, a famous sports star or a politician is no more real to you than a fictional character is and you might wind up knowing the details of the latter more intimately than the former.
We're emotional and social creatures. We draw off of other's strengths. Stories are designed to provoke and inspire these emotional responses, so why should there be shame in having them? Basically, the source of your inspiration is human, and whether it's real is irrelevent.