yes, it is very tricky. *sigh*. And yep, it's very blatant. She's always like "Can't we just enjoy it for what it is?" and others are like yeah, you can enjoy it for what it is, we don't mind, but we'd like to analyse it thanks, and we should be allowed to! If it does get invaded by constant dark fics and abuse and rape and furries (... which i just realised could totally happen if someone got creative with plotbunnies omg...) well, then I wouldn't care, as long as I was still allowed to do what I want to do, and have some people to do it with. :) I agree. It's not my fandom. But it's not hers either, which means that we should be allowed to do what we want without being told off for it. And yep, I guess I'm sort of judging her for her thoughts about it... but... at least I don't follow her around to do it!
I think I'll just have to try and not care what she thinks. It's been driving me crazy not being able to talk about it properly for months because I've been freaking out.
Well, the 'drama' is that half of us think the other half is a bit blind, and they think we're a bit over analytical. :P But we decided that everyone is a fan so it doesn't matter. Honestly, the only non personal drama (people having different levels/types of enjoyment of the canon doesn't count as drama) I can think of is occasional debates about 'what do you think this scene meant?' and who is hottest. haha. Which of course doesn't really matter at all. I think most people don't notice the problems with her. And that's not fandom problem, it's more a personal issue with her.
And, I'd love to tell you what the fandom is, but I can't really without 'outing' who I am, or getting her sent a google alert that I've said the name of it. hah.