they just seemed to talk and talk about how much they loved and hated each other and bleh

LOL. See, and I saw their banter as being way more physical and "less talking, more fucking or punching each other", than Spike going "baw Buffy ILU," and Buffy going "Well I hate you!" It's always interesting to get someone else's take on canon, because the next time I re-watch S5 and 6 I'll keep wht you said in mind, because maybe I wasn't looking for it, so I just didn't see it.