I ended up feeling pretty damn bad for both of them by the end and forgave them to varying degrees.
They were both horrible, fascinating people who deserved better than the hands they were dealt (Petunia, a horrible, crushing blow of disappointment and separation; Snape, one of the shittiest childhoods imaginable) and allowed themselves to be consumed by bitterness rather than rise above it. I think they both could have benefitted from one extra person truly giving a damn and making an effort during their childhoods. Lily, as well-meaning as she was and as much as she did try... her scenes just left me with the impression that she was a person who couldn't truly place herself in someone else's position and really consider situations from their POV. She felt bad for them and wanted them to feel better, yes, but she couldn't truly relate outside the bubble of her pretty damn awesome childhood.
It's easy for her to think that Snape should just break away from his housemates, and yes, he really should have manned up and at least tried. But Snape's a piss-poor half-blood in a house full of rich, socially-powerful purebloods. How much could he honestly rebel and still be safe? Lily got to "go home" to Gryffindor House. She probably never had to wonder if one of her housemates would try to do real harm to her while she slept. I don't think someone in Snape's position could be so certain, and I don't think Lily once stopped to think of how honestly difficult and probably dangerous it would be for Snape to spurn almost the entire Slytherin population.
As for Petunia... well, Lily got to go off to super awesome magic adventure land. Pentunia didn't. Lily got to be super popular and special. Petunia didn't. Lily got to meet awesome magic friends and be part of a fantastic new world. Pentunia lost her sister to that world. Several little moments and throwaway lines throughout the series imply that Muggles, even family members, just can't truly be a part of your life anymore once you become a wizard/witch. They just aren't the same. It's okay to trick them or lie to them. It's for their own good. Sometimes the overall Wizarding attitude towards non-magic people seems to be "Oh, those silly Muggles." It's like they're seen as sources of pleasant amusement rather than... you know, people who just happen to not have awesome magic powers. There is a definite Us and Them separation, even if it's not malicious, and I bet Petunia felt that. And I bet Lily, as much as she loved her sister and tried to make her feel better (and I think it's pretty damn telling that it's Lily we see comforting a crying Pentunia and not their parents), just couldn't understand how she felt.
That's one of the things I really enjoyed about the series, how every single character was flawed on some level, sometimes very noticeably. Almost every single character is a complete asshole at one time/on some level or another (possible exceptions being Neville and Luna and probably a few others I just can't think of at the moment). Even a paragon of perfection like Lily Evans had some shortcomings. So I find it pretty easy to fault Snape and Petunia for the truly fucked up things they do and still forgive them because I can understand why. Hell, even Harry did.
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They were both horrible, fascinating people who deserved better than the hands they were dealt (Petunia, a horrible, crushing blow of disappointment and separation; Snape, one of the shittiest childhoods imaginable) and allowed themselves to be consumed by bitterness rather than rise above it. I think they both could have benefitted from one extra person truly giving a damn and making an effort during their childhoods. Lily, as well-meaning as she was and as much as she did try... her scenes just left me with the impression that she was a person who couldn't truly place herself in someone else's position and really consider situations from their POV. She felt bad for them and wanted them to feel better, yes, but she couldn't truly relate outside the bubble of her pretty damn awesome childhood.
It's easy for her to think that Snape should just break away from his housemates, and yes, he really should have manned up and at least tried. But Snape's a piss-poor half-blood in a house full of rich, socially-powerful purebloods. How much could he honestly rebel and still be safe? Lily got to "go home" to Gryffindor House. She probably never had to wonder if one of her housemates would try to do real harm to her while she slept. I don't think someone in Snape's position could be so certain, and I don't think Lily once stopped to think of how honestly difficult and probably dangerous it would be for Snape to spurn almost the entire Slytherin population.
As for Petunia... well, Lily got to go off to super awesome magic adventure land. Pentunia didn't. Lily got to be super popular and special. Petunia didn't. Lily got to meet awesome magic friends and be part of a fantastic new world. Pentunia lost her sister to that world. Several little moments and throwaway lines throughout the series imply that Muggles, even family members, just can't truly be a part of your life anymore once you become a wizard/witch. They just aren't the same. It's okay to trick them or lie to them. It's for their own good. Sometimes the overall Wizarding attitude towards non-magic people seems to be "Oh, those silly Muggles." It's like they're seen as sources of pleasant amusement rather than... you know, people who just happen to not have awesome magic powers. There is a definite Us and Them separation, even if it's not malicious, and I bet Petunia felt that. And I bet Lily, as much as she loved her sister and tried to make her feel better (and I think it's pretty damn telling that it's Lily we see comforting a crying Pentunia and not their parents), just couldn't understand how she felt.
That's one of the things I really enjoyed about the series, how every single character was flawed on some level, sometimes very noticeably. Almost every single character is a complete asshole at one time/on some level or another (possible exceptions being Neville and Luna and probably a few others I just can't think of at the moment). Even a paragon of perfection like Lily Evans had some shortcomings. So I find it pretty easy to fault Snape and Petunia for the truly fucked up things they do and still forgive them because I can understand why. Hell, even Harry did.