Chiming in with another "I could have written this" here, OP. The only difference is that I have very little evidence that my dad really did love me (he died when I was fourteen after fighting brain cancer for a couple of years.) I haven't got the slightest idea what kind of relationship we would have had if he had lived to be fifty, sixty, and beyond.

I wish all the time that it could have been like Alexis and Castle's. (But on the other hand, losing that would have been even more devastating, I suppose.)