He's always had a rougher, saltier kind of humor to him but in the comics, which some people might not count or be interested in, but this is the Nick Fury I love:
"Look, Murdock, don't insult my intelligence, I'll return the favor... You wanna get in your red jammies an' jump off rooftops, that's between you an' your therepist."
Nick to Matt Murdock (aka Daredevil) who's pretending not to understand what "special abilities" of his Fury is alluding to.
Daredevil vol. 1 #298 (1991)
Secretary of Defense: "What kind of military organization are you running there, anyway Fury?" Nick Fury: "Well, fer starters, we have a great dental plan and we don't give gays any grief."
Incredibule Hulk vol. 1 #411 (1993)
"Pretty rude company you're keepin'. Didn't even offer me a light off his head."
Nick to Deathlok regarding Ghost Rider, right after Ghost Rider rode off following a scuffle with Deathlok in Nick's presence.
Deathlok vol. 1 #10 (1992)
Fury MAX #1 (2002)
"Marilyn." {intercom voice: "yes, Colonel"} "Tell the Council reps I'm running late. If they bitch give 'em a doughnut. Hold back a couple o' strawberry f'me." {intercom voice: "yes, Colonel"} "I'm all ears Jennifer."
Fury delaying a meeting with the UN Security Council to hear out Jennifer Wentworth on her discovery of warborgs and other Soviet mutation programs operating under "new management."
X-Force #111 (2001)
Fury: "Here's what we're all gonna do... not a solitary thing. We all walk away from this like nothing happened, which, after SHIELD get's done here, will be more or less the truth." Beast: "You are of course joking." Fury: "Of course. This is one of those jokes I'm so famous and beloved for."
no subject
"Look, Murdock, don't insult my intelligence, I'll return the favor... You wanna get in your red jammies an' jump off rooftops, that's between you an' your therepist."
Nick to Matt Murdock (aka Daredevil) who's pretending not to understand what "special abilities" of his Fury is alluding to.
Daredevil vol. 1 #298 (1991)
Secretary of Defense: "What kind of military organization are you running there, anyway Fury?"
Nick Fury: "Well, fer starters, we have a great dental plan and we don't give gays any grief."
Incredibule Hulk vol. 1 #411 (1993)
"Pretty rude company you're keepin'. Didn't even offer me a light off his head."
Nick to Deathlok regarding Ghost Rider, right after Ghost Rider rode off following a scuffle with Deathlok in Nick's presence.
Deathlok vol. 1 #10 (1992)
Fury MAX #1 (2002)
"Marilyn." {intercom voice: "yes, Colonel"} "Tell the Council reps I'm running late. If they bitch give 'em a doughnut. Hold back a couple o' strawberry f'me." {intercom voice: "yes, Colonel"} "I'm all ears Jennifer."
Fury delaying a meeting with the UN Security Council to hear out Jennifer Wentworth on her discovery of warborgs and other Soviet mutation programs operating under "new management."
X-Force #111 (2001)
Fury: "Here's what we're all gonna do... not a solitary thing. We all walk away from this like nothing happened, which, after SHIELD get's done here, will be more or less the truth."
Beast: "You are of course joking."
Fury: "Of course. This is one of those jokes I'm so famous and beloved for."
Always the sarcastic wise-ass.
The Astonishing X-Men #6 (2004)
Just a couple smaller ones I pulled from here:
http://www.iconian.com/fury/nfquote.html
which has a ton more.