Man all this girlfriend projection and detail demanding is hilarious.
OP: Next time you're involved with someone else in fandom, discuss boundaries. One of the first things that made me realize that I was in trouble with my last boyfriend was that I realize I WOULD rather be online rping pretty much anything (smut or otherwise) than make more than the occasional time for him. I broke it off, and that was the right decision. Things just weren't there for us over all, and I knew there was no fixing it.
Later, when I got involved with a new guy, and made effort to spend time with him because I was really happy in my relationship, my online friends actually did the 'us or him' bullshit! They proceeded to trash me online because I made less time for THEM, closed our RPs and generally went on to be cunts on the internet about it. I dumped that shit, went on to a happy marriage, found better friends, and made sure that my husband knew about my hobbies and what our boundaries were.
We've discussed the hobbies we have, and where smut lies in the cheating spectrum for us (he doesn't consider it cheating, he knows I don't do it for sexual gratification, and he knows who I'm banging at the end of the day: him.) When these sort of things occur, you need to be straight forward and frank with your partners about your boundaries and expectations. If they can respect them, find someone who does. But be sure to make sure you're reasonable about it, too. She needs to have a life outside you too.
for the op!
OP: Next time you're involved with someone else in fandom, discuss boundaries. One of the first things that made me realize that I was in trouble with my last boyfriend was that I realize I WOULD rather be online rping pretty much anything (smut or otherwise) than make more than the occasional time for him. I broke it off, and that was the right decision. Things just weren't there for us over all, and I knew there was no fixing it.
Later, when I got involved with a new guy, and made effort to spend time with him because I was really happy in my relationship, my online friends actually did the 'us or him' bullshit! They proceeded to trash me online because I made less time for THEM, closed our RPs and generally went on to be cunts on the internet about it. I dumped that shit, went on to a happy marriage, found better friends, and made sure that my husband knew about my hobbies and what our boundaries were.
We've discussed the hobbies we have, and where smut lies in the cheating spectrum for us (he doesn't consider it cheating, he knows I don't do it for sexual gratification, and he knows who I'm banging at the end of the day: him.) When these sort of things occur, you need to be straight forward and frank with your partners about your boundaries and expectations. If they can respect them, find someone who does. But be sure to make sure you're reasonable about it, too. She needs to have a life outside you too.