Okay, sorry to just jump in here, but some of these don't make a lot of sense. Regarding point number 1, I recall Lily making it pretty clear to him that it was a 'them or me' situation. And I totally agree with her. And even if she didn't make it completely, 100% explicitly clear to him? I'd still think very little of him for being so selfish. I'm sorry, but - for instance - if I were a Black woman in the 1920s in America, and my best friend were a white guy who was trying to join the KKK to "impress" me? I'd think he was a huge, massive asshole, too, regardless of his bad childhood or whatever.
And as for point number three, I'm pretty sure she didn't "pick" James over Snape until after he'd cut her down with the "mudblood" in Snape's Worst Memory. Maybe it's just my reading of the scene, but wasn't that why it was his worst memory? Because that was the moment when he really lost Lily? He lashed out at her and their relationship was completely changed because of it - his choices and actions forced her away, and if he reacted badly to that, it's nobody's fault but his own. So while I'm certain that he did go a bit mad afterwards, I don't think it was because of any "clinging" - he was the one who initiated the "breakup" between the two friends, as it were. She wanted to help him, but perhaps due to machismo or shame or hatred of James, it was ultimately his choice (and Lily's understandable reaction) that broke their relationship down.
Snape is an interesting character, but I think it really cheapens the arc of his redemption to skim over the bad things he did or exuse them due to bad upbringing, or act as though the bad things he did in and of themselves are sympathetic acts. He started out with a bad home situation, but made things worse for himself when he made bad choices. He was not a good person. But he changed and that's why, in the end, he was ultimately sympathetic, I think.
Re: 22
And as for point number three, I'm pretty sure she didn't "pick" James over Snape until after he'd cut her down with the "mudblood" in Snape's Worst Memory. Maybe it's just my reading of the scene, but wasn't that why it was his worst memory? Because that was the moment when he really lost Lily? He lashed out at her and their relationship was completely changed because of it - his choices and actions forced her away, and if he reacted badly to that, it's nobody's fault but his own. So while I'm certain that he did go a bit mad afterwards, I don't think it was because of any "clinging" - he was the one who initiated the "breakup" between the two friends, as it were. She wanted to help him, but perhaps due to machismo or shame or hatred of James, it was ultimately his choice (and Lily's understandable reaction) that broke their relationship down.
Snape is an interesting character, but I think it really cheapens the arc of his redemption to skim over the bad things he did or exuse them due to bad upbringing, or act as though the bad things he did in and of themselves are sympathetic acts. He started out with a bad home situation, but made things worse for himself when he made bad choices. He was not a good person. But he changed and that's why, in the end, he was ultimately sympathetic, I think.