[Picture is five thick, old-looking books standing together on a shelf or stand.]

Dear fandom friend,

We've known each other forever and I appreciate the support you've given me from the very beginning. Real life has been busy for us both and I just want to tell you that you do not have to keep promising to read my fanfic. It's sweet of you to reassure me you'll read/review as soon as possible, but you haven't done it in years and I wish you'd just quit bringing it up now because it's super awkward.

Post script: I'm still your friend and you're still awesome.