[ SECRET POST #2670 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2670 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Dan Vs.]


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03.
[Mysterious Cities Of Gold]


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04.
[Sherlock]


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05.
[Drazen Bratulic]


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06.
[Captain America]


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07.
[Smash]


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08.
[El Goonish Shive]


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09.


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10. http://i59.tinypic.com/2eebuv6.jpg
[porn, Frozen, illustrated]


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11. [SPOILERS for Shameless US]



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12. [WARNING for suicide]



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13. [WARNING for rape]



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14. [WARNING for domestic violence]



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15. [WARNING for rape/sexual assault]














Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #381.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[iceyred]

I can see it now: a swank ballroom filled with 3014-era pretentious douchebag professors drinking cheap wine. Office politics are in full-play; the two young female professors are avoiding each other, the old female professor is too old for this shit and is drinking too much and making everyone uncomfortable, the student body's most hated professor had a grad assistant iron his shirt before the event and he is now bragging about his new project that was largely put together by grad students. The old male professor is too old for this shit but can't drink because of his heart. He is wondering how soon he can gracefully make an exit. The school's only robot professor is feeling very awkward and is wondering if he only got hired to fill a diversity quota. The one cool professor that everyone likes didn't even bother to show. Several grad students are lurking around. One of them, probably my descendant, is drinking too heavily with the cool old female professor.

The department head breaks away from kissing up to the University President after NOT getting an increase in funding and makes his way to the podium. The microphone is not turned on and he mumbles something that only the robot professor can hear. The robot professor records it and files that little tidbit away to share later with the one professor everybody likes. A grad student manages to turn on a microphone. The head thanks her, makes a stupid joke about how many Ph.Ds it takes to turn on a microphone, and starts talking. He thanks everyone for coming, takes special care to praise the University high mucky-mucks for coming down from Mount Olympus, and finally (finally!) gets to the point of the evening: recognizing leaders in the department's field of archeology by presenting them with resume padding, but ultimately meaningless, awards.

"Dr. Finch-Withers, for your contributions to the field of archeology, and your outstanding research on ancient internet sub-cultures, and because you bring the best weenie-dogs to the annual department picnic." Here he pauses for obligatory laughter. The one drunk grad student passes out. "We present you the 3014 Archeology Department Award for Exceptional and Innovative Research. This award is typically given to those who have advanced the field and provided new understanding about ancient civilizations."

Everyone politely applauds, Dr. Finch-Withers receives his award, makes a few boring comments and then: "My research portrays one speck in the universe that is ancient civilizations. Hopefully, my discoveries of the nuances of internet subcultures such as fandom, Rule 63, and plant growth dicks will spark the interest of the youth of today and inspire them to challenge the preconceived notions of today. Once we thought that 'yaoi' was a term specific to anime fandoms, that warning for slash was all anybody had to worry about, that fanfic.net was the only site for fanworks. We had dispelled those myths and gained a deeper understanding of the ancients, and in doing so, a greater appreciation for our own culture."

At this point the cool male professor gracefully exits, the robot decides to start looking for a new job, the cool female professor takes one drink too many, and the grad students falls out of her chair.

[(Anonymous)]

This is nice. I sure wish I could be there.

[eaten_by_bears]

*clap clap clap*