[ SECRET POST #2673 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2673 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 055 secrets from Secret Submission Post #382.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[a_potato]

You make a good point.

However, in regards to your first statement, I would like to note two things:

1) There are a decent amount of men who frequent this site. OP might not be a woman.

2) Even if OP is a woman, she might not be interested in men.

[(Anonymous)]

True enough, but girls hear it most of all. To "lower their standards" and the fact OP expresses the fear of impossibly standards combined with self esteem problems (fear of not living up to someone else's standards) does make me lean toward OP being a girl, and regardless of if she's into girls, she's still likely heard a lot of things that basically mean "settle for the first man who'll take you."

[a_potato]

They do. I've just met enough guys who express the same sentiments that I'm like "ehhhhh, could go either way."

That said, it is true that in the wider culture, women are encouraged to settle more often than men. From time to time, one encounters men who have settled, but it's nowhere near as prevalent as it is with women.

I can say that, for my part, my initial reaction and response came from personal experience. At one point, I did have impossible standards. I expected to have someone who was in peak physical condition and who would remain so for the duration of our lives. I expected a genius. I expected to never disagree, to never have divergent interests, to never feel any need to be apart. I expected someone who would bend over backwards to do what I wanted. The man who became my husband doesn't meet those standards (because there are very, very few people who could), but nonetheless, he is right for me (and I for him) in a way that few other people are.

I'd like to hope that most of the people who replied to this secret are coming from a similar place. If they aren't, then that's a real shame. But at least OP will have your posts to give some balance. :)