[ SECRET POST #2686 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2686 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 059 secrets from Secret Submission Post #384.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

he has sex with animals?

[dethtoll]

It's the only explanation there is for some of the stuff he's done.

I've told this theory before but I'll tell it again, it's been a while.

Seth MacFarlane wants to fuck animals. He is a zoophile. He wants to commit bestiality -- he wants to fuck a goat.

Why does he want a goat to lick his balls? Because he's fucking sick in the head.

What's my proof?

All of his shows do this -- look at fucking Family Guy. Fucking look at the dog there, Brian, whatever his name is, that fucking piece of shit, I hate Brian, I wish he would fucking eat chocolate and die or something, I don't like Brian at all, fuck Stewie too, worst characters ever, that's just another reason why Family Guy sucks, 'cuz in between every stupid misogynist joke about Meg, every other episode's like 'Stewie and Brian have a fucking adventure through time and space!' FUCK YOU

Even Quagmire hates brian, and Quagmire's like, the average Reddit user, but at least he's honest about it. Brian's pretty much a horrible person and really he's meant to be the stand-in for Seth MacFarlane himself (HMM) so is it any surprise he's the worst character on TV? But let's think about this for a second, he's always dating some chick, like a human chick, not a dog, but like some woman. And he wants to fuck the wife. Why does the dog want to fuck the wife? Why is he even attracted to her? I get that he's a talking dog, I get that, does that mean he likes human pussy? Is he a human fetishist? And he wants his cock to be inside Lois because he can talk? Is he like a human trapped in a dog's body?

And they don't even treat him like a dog, they treat him like he's human, like he's normal, I mean I'd be fucking rich, like holy shit I've got a talking dog, I'm gonna be on all the talk shows and all that bullshit.

Why does the dog have human girlfriends? Why? That's fucked up! Every time I see Brian Griffin with some woman and he's like dating her and fucking her I can't get my brain around it.

And then MacFarlane fucking makes American Dad and it has the fucking koala bear, and what does the koala bear want to do? Fuck the daughter, what the fuck is going on? And she wants to fuck him! And the only reason she didn't is 'cuz she went with her old boyfriend instead, and now the koala bear's got little blue koala bear balls, why can't the koala bear fuck other koala bears why's he got to fuck a teenage girl? That's fucked up.

So if Seth MacFarlane shows up at your house and he's all 'hey you know i'm the guy from tv!'

PUNCH HIM IN THE FUCKING FACE

HIDE YOUR DOG

HIDE YOUR CAT

AND HIDE YOUR HAMSTER TOO BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING ALL THE ANIMALS AROUND HERE

[fleshisyummy]

Do you have this ready to copy and paste? I think I remember you posting this exact same rant some other time.

[dethtoll]

I just dug it out of my emails. ;)

[(Anonymous)]

that is one impressive rant.

[darkmanifest]

I liked Brian back when he was only interested in fucking other dogs. The point when that changed was the point when the whole character started careening into the abyss.

[(Anonymous)]

the fact that you've given this much thought about bestiality because of a cartoon anthropomorphized dog is disturbing

and the koala bear is a human whose body was switched with the koala bear, he's not an actual koala bear.

[dethtoll]

more like it's an established pattern with him and it's hard not to notice

[(Anonymous)]

no you have issues

[dethtoll]

no i don't they're like 3 bucks anon i can't afford a comic habit

[(Anonymous)]

"Dogs want to be human. Cats want to be god."

- Anon

[(Anonymous)]

See, I was always more bothered by Brian's interest in other, non-sapient dogs. No one with human-level intelligence has any business having sex with normal animals, imo.

[beverlykatz]

Reading this was an adventure from start to finish.

[(Anonymous)]

Don't forget Peter getting raped by a bull.

[(Anonymous)]

cool, someone hates Family Guy even more than I do.