case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2014-05-11 03:46 pm

[ SECRET POST #2686 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2686 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 059 secrets from Secret Submission Post #384.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2014-05-12 04:36 am (UTC)(link)
How is this internalized misogyny though? Almost every movie/tv/book series portrays m/m relationship as bro's before hoe's, and they have their bromance where they have the ultimate ideal platonic relationship. Usually writers only use females as romantic interests. I have such a hard time finding a good m/f bromance equivalent. The only one I can think of right now is Mal & Zoe from Firefly.

Then in real life you have 'the friendzone' perpetuated by nice guys all the time because they don't want to have that platonic relationship with a girl. Or at least it's very rare to find.

In my life there were two different guy friends I had that I thought were my 'bros', but after they made advances on me and I turned them down we weren't even friends anymore, because apparently being just friends is the ultimate humiliation for a guy.

So yeah, it is hard for me to believe I can have a platonic-bromance like relationship with most guys I know in real life. It's not that I think it's impossible, there are relationships like that. It's just that given my own experience where it usually turns out they want more than a platonic relationship... I can see why others would feel it's difficult to find this kind of relationship that is deeper than sexual attraction for m/f.

(Anonymous) 2014-05-12 10:05 pm (UTC)(link)
(anon above you)

the secret is about reading slash romance, so I assumed OP is comparing m/m romance to m/f romance, not friendship. It might just be my perspective and the way I ship slash? I fetishize m/m sex, not friendship. I see their emotions as equivalent to mine for the most part.

If OP has internalized flawed media that tells her that men are more fully realized characters capable of deeper emotional connection... that's what I mean by internalized misogyny? Because it's not only that men value non-sexual relationships with men over those with women (as you seem to have experienced) it's that I see the secret as implicit agreement with it. Which is by no means the only way to interpret it! It's just one way, and I was surprised to see it missing from the discussion.
diet_poison: (Default)

[personal profile] diet_poison 2014-05-13 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
Ironically, your reasons for saying it's hard to find that are all rooted in...misogyny (coming from outside sources). OP's reasoning was nothing like that and appears to come specifically from looking at m/m romantic relationships and thinking they are intrinsically superior to m/f relationships which is a misogynistic attitude (though probably not intentional).