[ SECRET POST #2689 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2689 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 026 secrets from Secret Submission Post #384.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

(warning about sexual assault)

[(Anonymous)]

.

Re: (warning about sexual assault)

[(Anonymous)]

I found out recently that I was molested by my older cousin as a child. There's evidence of it, multiple eye witnesses, basically enough to prove it was a thing that actually happened. The thing is, I don't remember any of it. I never knew a thing about it until I overheard my mother talking about it to my aunt. They were both surprised I didn't know what they were talking about but then wrote it off when I tried to ask questions.

I'm very confused at how I should feel about all of this.

On one hand, it leaves me with a lot of questions: we used to help care for this cousin, she practically lived with us for years and was suddenly told she could never come back when I was around 8-ish. I always assumed it was she was so violent (constantly pushing and hitting me, emulating the home environment she came to us escaping from) but now I wonder if it has to do with her molesting me. She was with us for such a long time and the incident my mother was talking about seemed to be when we were much younger and I wonder if this was something that happened repeatedly (I do remember crying a lot when she stayed over, but I always looked back on it as me being upset because she was mean, but now...) Apparently I was really upset and hurt by the incident, and now I wonder why my mother didn't think it was a good idea to separate us (we shared a bed until middle school).

On the other hand, I really don't want to know anything. I don't remember any of it and I'm kind of afraid that if I learn anything more it could jog memories. I don't want those kind of memories to deal with. My cousin and I have a stable friendship as adults (I'm in my twenties now) and I don't want to have that weighing down on me whenever I'm around her. I wish I had never heard about this at all. I wish I could have lived my life without ever knowing this. I'm glad the memories are apparently repressed; I've had a pretty happy life without any sort of major issues.

I'm just at a loss as to what to think.

Re: (warning about sexual assault)

[(Anonymous)]

How old were you and your cousin? Was she old enough to understand what she was doing?

Re: (warning about sexual assault)

[(Anonymous)]

OP- unclear, but judging from some of the things my mother was mentioning she was between 9-10 at the time, I'm three years younger than her. I'm not convinced she did understand it at the time. With the home life I know she had, I think it was more that she was emulating things that may have been done to her. I'm not angry at her, actually. Perhaps I should have stressed that. She was a kid and like I said, we get along just fine now.

I'm just sort of floored to find things out about myself, you know?

Re: (warning about sexual assault)

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

Have you considered telling your Mom what you heard, and basically everything you just told/asked us? I don't know if that's an option or something you're comfortable with, of course.

Re: (warning about sexual assault)

[(Anonymous)]

I tried asking her when I heard her say it (they knew I was in the room when she was talking to my aunt about it) and she basically told me off for asking questions. In her opinion, there's something wrong with me for wanting to know more.

So getting more information out of her really doesn't seem like a thing that will happen.