fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2690 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2690 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[My Little Pony: Equestria Girls movie]

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[Star Trek: The Next Generation/Reginald Barclay]

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[Dark Souls]

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05.

[Call the Midwife]

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[The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim]

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07.

[The Thing. Inception. EverymanHYBRID. Adventure Time]

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09.

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10.

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11.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 015 secrets from Secret Submission Post #384.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

10. http://i57.tinypic.com/ivkg49.jpg

It's basically mediocre published slashfic.

Oh? What is it about?

I'm gonna guess Achilles and Patroclus's big gay love.

It's the life of Achilles as narrated by Patroclus. It's got all the standard slashfic tropes- Achilles' evil mother doesn't want them to be together, there's a nasty female rival for Patroclus (although Achilles assures him that he's not attracted to her and describes her vagina as "oily" for some reason) there's a lot of angst, they're semi-closeted for fear of being "shamed" if people knew about their relationship, and everyone dies. (Including Briseis.) Also, at one point Achilles and Patroclus set up a tent to shelter slave girls to keep them from getting passed around as the spoils of war, because they're just so gosh-darn noble like that.

Wouldn't the Greeks have pretty much expected Achilles to be giving it to Patroclus? That was always my understanding.

One would think so, yes. But whoever let historical accuracy get in the way of angst?

No, not really. Patroclus was expected to be giving it to Achilles because he's older. Read Plato's Symposium, they have a debate over if Aeschylus was right to make Achilles top (in one of his lost plays) or not.

No, because Patroclus was older

...worse than the Troy movie, then. I didn't realize it was possible.

That sounds terrible.

So basically Mary Renault would spin in her grave if she knew her name was on this book. ö.ö

This is associated with Mary Renault? Really? omg I'm rereading her stuff now. Her style is kind of hard to get through for me, but I love the descriptions and characters. Even more interesting that her books were written at a very not-gay-friendly time, so I always appreciated her work. I take it the book in OP's secret is not a recommendation, though..

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-15 23:35 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-16 00:21 (UTC) - Expand

evewithanapple - 2014-05-16 04:56 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-17 12:08 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-16 04:29 (UTC) - Expand

Oily vagina lol. Wouldn't that be a good thing if you were into the bumsex already?

The book sounds appalling.

idc how far-fetched it is, if it saves me from unnecessarily having to read about abused background women, I'll take it

Unfortunately, it won't. Iphigenia still dies brutally onscreen to give Achilles some angst. Also Patroclus' parents disappear after the first few chapters but we are informed that his mother is/was "simple" and drooled on herself a lot.

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-15 23:44 (UTC) - Expand

ozaline - 2014-05-16 20:14 (UTC) - Expand

may_lily - 2014-05-16 22:30 (UTC) - Expand

ozaline - 2014-05-17 00:39 (UTC) - Expand

may_lily - 2014-05-17 02:02 (UTC) - Expand

ozaline - 2014-05-17 05:18 (UTC) - Expand

Thanks for making it so I don't accidentally buy this book!

"Oily vagina" makes me think of how one of my friends from a few years ago allegedly described PIV sex as a feeling of sticking his dick into a bowl of fried rice.

Edited 2014-05-16 00:47 (UTC)

I have so many questions for your friend.

diet_poison - 2014-05-16 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

sarillia - 2014-05-16 02:10 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2014-05-16 06:00 (UTC) - Expand

diet_poison - 2014-05-16 14:17 (UTC) - Expand

I'm thinking of 40-Year-Old Virgin.

"Her breasts were like two...big...bags of sand."

I think you're right. I think he hadn't actually had sex.

So, that explains tumblr being in love with it then!

Life's too short to read overrated books. And blandness is a horrible thing to suffer through. You definitely made the right call.

Funniest thing is that book in secret number one is called "obscure" (well, not really, have it as well) while this one is "popular" :D . Never heard about it and damn it I've loved my Homer! And Greek mythology aaand I'd also would probably make a mistake of buying it thus thanks for warnings.

I liked this book more upon second read-through but I will totally agree that it's FILLED with slash tropes. As someone who enjoys slash tropes that's okay with me though.

WORD.

I've read too much yaoi to find this novel remotely interesting. Yawn.