[ SECRET POST #2693 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2693 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #385.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - blank image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[(Anonymous)]

A few weeks ago I started a new job where the only person I work with is the person who owns the business. While I love the job and its perks (free alcohol!), I cannot freakin' stand my boss.

She very rarely calls me by my name; it's either "sweetie" (gag) or "honey". She'll also rub my back when I'm doing work at the computer and on two occasions has put her hands on my hips when she needed to squeeze past me while I'm at the register. Also, on my first day, she randomly asked me if I was having my period.

She's never dealt with having employees before (I'm the first person she's ever hired) so I wonder if she's unaware that what she's doing is a little inappropriate for the work place, even if it's a "mom and pop" business and there's no other co-workers to witness what's going on. I don't think it's sexual harassment, but I don't think it's professional either; it's like I'm working for my grandma or great aunt.

Am I overreacting or is it really as unprofessional as I think it is?

Re: VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, it may not be sexual harassment not but it sounds like it is on the fast track of getting there. And, yes, it is very unprofessional.

The only people who can get away with calling people "sweetie" and "honey" and do that squeezing thing are middle aged diner waitresses from small Southern towns who have two first names. (Mary Jane, Ruby Anne, Sally Jo...etc.)

Everyone else? No.

Re: VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[(Anonymous)]

That's definitely healthy, if nothing else.

Is this her own business as in a franchise? Or is it truly Mom and Pop? Also, the fact that you know you're the first person she's ever hired makes me wonder if you have connections IRL?

Re: VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[(Anonymous)]

Outside work, not IRL... been in General Comments too long...

Re: VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[(Anonymous)]

It's her own business with only one location.

And the only reason I know I was the first person hired was because the employment agency that got me an interview there told me that (business was starting to pick up in the last few months and she couldn't handle it all herself).

Re: VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[diet_poison]

...do most peoples' aunts and grandma's randomly put their hands on their family members' hips?? *twitch* Even with the back rubbing thing, which some family members might do...totally not appropriate.

Not only are you not overreacting, but I'd say that is sexual harassment. It is absolutely unprofessional.

Re: VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, it's unprofessional and inappropriate.

If she was a guy, that would be incredibly creepy.

(And even as I was reading it, even though it sounds like she's an older woman, it still sounded creepy to me. Unwanted physical contact = NO THANK YOU.)

The only people I would expect that sort of contact from would be family members, partners, or close friends. Not my boss.

Re: VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, that's not appropriate. Depending on what country and/or state you're in, it may or may not be classed as sexual harassment, but it's definitely inappropriate and unprofessional, even if well-meant.

It sounds like this person is obviously struggling with maintaining professional boundaries. My former boss was 60+ to my (at the time) 20, and it would've skeeved me the hell out if she'd done that.

Re: VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[(Anonymous)]

This is extremely unprofessional and inappropriate. And to be honest, I'm getting pissed off just reading this. Your boss needs to keep her fucking hands to herself and keep her fucking mouth shut.

I've had to have the "use my name, keep your hands to yourself" conversation with a lot of coworkers and two bosses, and it sucks. So be prepared. Your boss may have no idea she's doing anything inappropriate, so be prepared to tell her exactly how what she's doing is making you uncomfortable and why she needs to stop. If she's anything like some of the people I've worked with, she'll try to use excuses for her behavior like "everyone likes being touched" or "but I call all women/young women/young people honey!" If you don't like the nickname, do NOT let her talk you into shutting up. Keep in mind that, even if you put up with this treatment from family members, she is NOT your family and you're NOT obliged to let her treat you in ways that make you uncomfortable. This would hold true even if she WERE your family. You don't need to put up with this - and your boss needs to realize this, or she'll end up either with a vacancy or a harassment lawsuit.

Honestly, if this were my job, I'd look for new work and GTFO of there. This woman sounds creepy and invasive and obnoxious. I'd also suggest looking into harassment laws for your state or country.

Re: VENT: I can't stand my new boss.

[(Anonymous)]

I really think you're overreacting. Yes, OP's boss is being inappropriate, but I know plenty of people with no concept of personal space, and you're making it sound like what this woman is doing is intentionally malicious. If OP had mentioned her discomfort and the boss had ignored it, that would be one thing. But to me this sounds like a typical case of a small-town older woman who doesn't know the meaning of "personal bubble". OP just needs to be polite and explain that they feel uncomfortable and that it's unprofessional and could lead to problems in the future (especially with other potential employees). There's no need to look for the nearest stake to burn her on.