[ SECRET POST #2700 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2700 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 099 secrets from Secret Submission Post #386.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[arcadiaego]

What if they're actually no good at thinking of something to say? Commenting on fic makes me anxious.

If you have a problem with people reading your work in the way they want, you probably need to stop writing things that can be obtained for free, and get paid for it instead.

[(Anonymous)]

If people with actual, diagnosed communication issues such that it takes them hours to sit and craft (admittedly beautiful) responses to an 80K fic of mine, people who merely "feel anxious" saying "Nice job!" or "Good work!" or even "I really liked this!" can suck it up and either write a short review or stop looking for sympathy from everyone else.

Be a jerk, don't comment, and own it.

But don't turn this into a "You're trying to moderate how I consume media!" thing, because it's not. These people want reviews, they prefer reviews, and they're being honest about it. It doesn't have anything to do with you... except that their wanting apparently makes you feel defensive. And that's a you thing, not something that they were trying to do to you.

[arcadiaego]

Responding to a secret about kudos with comments about why I prefer kudos is not looking for sympathy. I can see you have serious problems talking about things that aren't you, but come on now.

that it takes them hours to sit and craft (admittedly beautiful) responses to an 80K fic of mine

Nice humblebrag, there.

If people with actual, diagnosed communication issues

Shall we submit this official diagnosis in writing from our doctors before our refusal to comment on your masterpiece is accepted?

Be a jerk, don't comment, and own it.

You have serious entitlement issues if you think the only reason someone wouldn't comment is a serious communication disorder or a personality defect.


It doesn't have anything to do with you...

Apart from where you said anyone who doesn't comment is a jerk, lazy, or has a medical problem and should prioritise your feelings over their own because you put so much effort in and (infinate, seeing as you've just said you already have lots) praise is the point of writing.

[(Anonymous)]

I can see you have serious problems talking about things that aren't you, but come on now.
*grins* Weren't you the one who originally made "a secret about kudos" about your dislike of leaving comments? Pot, meet the kettle. (Does this mean that you also "have serious problems talking about things that aren't you"? Come on now, be honest.

Nice humblebrag, there.
Thanks!

Shall we submit this official diagnosis in writing from our doctors before our refusal to comment on your masterpiece is accepted?
Frankly, I'd find that boring. (But it's nice of you to assume it's a masterpiece. It's not, but it's nice of you to say so.)

But the point is this, if someone in that situation can bestir themselves to make an effort and leave a comment because they genuinely seem to want to, then the overused "talking to strangers on the internet makes me feel anxious" excuse/explanation (and never mind that in making it, the writer is usually talking to other strangers on the internet) over leaving seven letters ("Good job!" or "Nice fic!")that would apparently make OP's day really aren't going to get a lot of sympathy from me.

(And, honestly, I never, ever hear about anxiety in leaving reviews/getting permissions except in a "so I shouldn't have to context!" It never seems to occur to people that, frankly, most people don't care. They either want the review or not to deal with someone who's going to make their fandom experience difficult/stressful.)

You have serious entitlement issues if you think the only reason someone wouldn't comment is a serious communication disorder or a personality defect.
Did I make this A = B comparison? I don't think so. I find it interesting that you drew that conclusion, but it certainly wasn't one that I intended to communicate.

But for what it's worth, I think there's an entitlement issue inherent to the idea that, because it's free, you can do as you like. And, if someone says that it bums them out that you're doing X, here not commenting, citing your feelings somehow negates their feelings. It doesn't. You certainly don't have to indulge their feelings, but it doesn't make them unreasonable to have them. It certainly doesn't remove their right to communicate their upset. And saying "THINK OF THE POOR, ANXIOUS PEOPLE!" certainly implies that you want the comment-seeking-writers to shut up, sit down, and crank out fic because it's just unreasonable to be hurt by those poor, delicately anxious readers. Never mind that there are equally delicately anxious writers out there.

Apart from where you said anyone who doesn't comment is a jerk, lazy, or has a medical problem and should prioritise your feelings over their own because you put so much effort in and (infinate, seeing as you've just said you already have lots) praise is the point of writing.
I don't think I wrote that list anywhere... or even used such absolute language.

And I'm still not sure how the OP's feelings have anything to do with your review feelings. They're separate entities.

But that said, I'm not sure how saying "THINK OF THE ANXIOUS PEOPLE" in response to the writer's sadness over a lack of comments is anything other than... how did you put it... ah, yes, that the writer "should prioritise your feelings over their own because you put so much effort in"... into reading their work, I assume.

and, while praise isn't my sole motivation for writing, I know that it is for some writers. And I know that it really, genuinely hurts others. Of course, since writing for praise isn't something you do (given your tone), I suppose empathizing with those people is out of line, huh?

[(Anonymous)]

Thank you for this. Totally agree with everything you said here.

[(Anonymous)]

Well said, anon.

And isn't it amusing how all these people who simply cannot bring themselves to compose even a tiny 4- or 5-word comment are SOMEHOW able to write surprisingly lengthy comments justifying it. *headshake*

[(Anonymous)]

you'd rather have me read your fic and don't leave a kudos? good to know.

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of things make me anxious. I'm not exempt from doing all of them just because they cause me difficulty, and if I don't do something because it makes me anxious, that's on me. There's nothing wrong with feeling anxious at the thought of doing _______, but I'd be pretty entitled if I expected the rest of the world is not obligated to suck it up and accommodate my anxiety.

In a case like "I'm not good at thinking of something to say", well, how are you addressing this problem? Because there will almost certainly be many, many situations throughout your lifetime in which you'll need to participate in a conversation with someone. A situation like having plenty of time to think and type up a compliment for a writer who doesn't know you're planning to write it... I don't know, is there a more low risk, low pressure social situation in fandom? It sounds like a good place to start working on this issue.