[ SECRET POST #2708 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2708 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Degrassi Junior High/Degrassi High and Saved By The Bell]


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03.
[The Cinema Snob]

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04.
[Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty]


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05.
[Silicon Valley]


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06.
[Xavier Dolan]


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07.
[Pacific Rim]


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08.
[Sailor Moon]


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09.
[Iwan Rheon]


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10.
[Love Stage!!]


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11.
[The Losers (movie)]


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12.
[K-pop]










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 052 secrets from Secret Submission Post #387.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[kallanda_lee]

What, I find this truly bizarre.

I have never, ever "chosen" who I was attracted to. I have chosen not to initiate a relationship (that is different) but I've never chosen attraction to someone.

I'm guessing it's pretty common as people end up attracted to and staying with people who are bad for them.

I just don't understand ho you can argue that attraction/love is a choice.

Yes, you could technically choose to be celibate - but that does not take the attraction away.

[(Anonymous)]

A question... Have you, once being attracted to someone, maintained that attraction for always or do you ever decide that you are not attracted to someone? For example, an initial attraction to a married person can be set aside by choice, right, when you find out? or are you doomed to be attracted to someone you don't want?

[(Anonymous)]

Usually you don't stop finding them attractive simply because you discover that they're unavailable. You might move them into the mental category of "not a potential sexual partner" and never attempt to initiate a relationship, but it's unlikely that seeing a wedding ring will make them stop looking hot to you.

[kallanda_lee]

Hm, tough question. It certainly does fade, and I can choose not to act on it, I guess - but it never goes away entirely. Like, an echo of it remains, as far as I tell. I know I met someone who I chose not to romantically engage with in highschool years later - and my heart still skipped a beat. I sort of felt awkward in the schoolgirl crush way again.

That doesn't just go on a superficial level, it's even worse if there actually was a connection. I'm sort of strange like that can't entirely un-love what I loved.

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

I'm sort of strange like that can't entirely un-love what I loved.

Well, then I'm strange too.

(It's okay, I've always been strange. ;)

[diet_poison]

For me, sometimes attraction does go away with time - for example, if I find out something about a person that's kinda DNW, and I know I would never want to actually be in a relationship with them, then over time (especially if I keep encountering them) it can fade to nothing. But it's not something I can just up and decide.

The reverse is also true - sometimes I can start experiencing attraction to someone I hadn't seen that way before. In fact, pretty much all the guys I've ever had feelings for beyond "o look he's cute" fall into this category. I tend to be more attracted to guys I know and am friends with.

[(Anonymous)]

Yep, but that's still definitely not choosing whether or not to be attracted to someone. You and your perceptions change, people change, your relationships change, and you learn more about people, and all these things influence your attraction.

A human can no more make attraction disappear on their own schedule than they can keep attraction going when it starts to fade. Does anon think people choose to fall out of love with their spouses?

[diet_poison]

I didn't say it was. I'm not of the mind that attraction can be controlled, anon. Sometimes me choosing not to focus on it makes it more likely to go away, but that's about as good as it gets for me. And it doesn't always work.