[ SECRET POST #2718 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2718 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Mayim Bialik]


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[Pacific Rim]











Notes:

Might be another 12 am day. Response time will be slow, sorry.

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 016 secrets from Secret Submission Post #388.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - this is getting spammy now ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[seventh_seal]

I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just wondering if it's necessary.

That said, I also know literally nothing about babies.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[(Anonymous)]

The problem right now is that there's a lot of peer pressure from young hip parents who have taken it up. They start screaming at you for the smallest "violation". This is pretty much missing the entire point because attachment parenting involves you acting on your own instinct and making your own choices. You have trouble breastfeeding? Giving your child formula isn't as good as breast milk, but you shouldn't be vilified for making that choice as long as it works for you and the baby. The same goes for using cloth or disposable diapers, cosleeping, etc.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[seventh_seal]

Yeah, nothing like when mothers judge other mothers, judge them hard. (And when fathers judge fathers, presumably.)

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[(Anonymous)]

Giving your child formula isn't as good as breast milk, but you shouldn't be vilified for making that choice as long as it works for you and the baby.

This.

Happy mother, happy child.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[seventh_seal]

And that said, and obviously not trying to discount your positive first-hand experience, my only experience with home schooled kids was a really bad one: when I visited a family with three children who were kept exclusively in the house and in the garden and never went anywhere because of diseases and non-religious people (their mother was a doctor so they didn't even have to go to a GP or anything and their dad was stay-at-home). They had everything at home, even a miniature movie theatre.

They were all below the age of ten and I'm just wondering what happens when they grow up?

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[kallanda_lee]

I've seen some good results with home schooling, but all of them were with (older) kids taken out of traditional schooling when they were having trouble. People who just home-school from day 1 often seem a different breed altogether.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[seventh_seal]

Yeah, many schools suck, no doubt about that. I was mildly bullied (Tumblr would kill me for using mildly, but that's what it was),especially in middle school and I often looked forward to being ill and staying at home, but then, my parents were really far from A+ too, so in retrospect thank god they didn't homeschool me.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[(Anonymous)]

Eh. I'm currently homeschooled (I'm 15, for reference) and have been since the beginning, and I don't think I'm that weird. Social issues, yes, some. It's related to why I was never traditionally schooled. Complete lack of contact with others and resulting problems, no. I take outside classes (classes taught by people other than my parents) and I get what seems to be a reasonable amount of interaction through them. How do people who've homeschooled since the beginning seem "a different breed" to you? (Not offended or intending to offend, just curious.)

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[kallanda_lee]

Different breed in the sense that the parents were often in it for different reasons, where it was more about their ideology than about something the child needed.

It was not meant as an offense, I'm not even saying it's necessarily bad, just that it's a different mindset to start from.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[intrigueing]

Wow, creepy. I've known quite a few homeschooled kids and most of them were totally fine -- but they all had a LOT of outside activities with their peers, in fact, more than most non-homeschooled kids usually have, just not school.

I was homeschooled for one year (second grade) because my family had to travel during that year. My dad is an ex-elementary school teacher so he did a pretty damn good job. Also, apart from math and writing, the curriculum for second grade was mostly reading (which I already knew how to do very well) and a huge amount of fun stories about saints and loads of beautiful poems.

However, homeschooling was so not for me. I was bored to death the entire time, like going out of my mind bored, hence, because the thing I always did when bored was read until my eyes fell out, second grade was The Year Of Being So Bored I Snuck Into My Parents' Bedroom To Try To Read Books No Other Second Grader Would Willingly Read. (I'm prettttty certain King Rat and Shogun are not at the second-grade level...but I honestly just that bored.)

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[seventh_seal]

I think maybe home-schooling works best if you have at least one sibling close to your age (and your parents aren't crazy).

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[intrigueing]

That would make sense. My sister was four years younger than me and since we were traveling, I had no opportunity to make friends to play with during that time, so yeah, probably not a great situation.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[(Anonymous)]

That makes sense. I'm the 15-year-old homeschooled anon from upthread, and I have siblings who are 2 and 4.5 years younger than I am (so 13 and 10 now) and have also been homeschooled all their lives. I am totally willing to believe that's part of the reason homeschooling worked for us. (And my parents aren't crazy, which probably also contributed.)

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[feotakahari]

I don't actually know what attachment parenting is, but I can speak about homeschooling--my mother used to run an organization that brought homeschooled kids together for group activities (a book club, a writing club, a board gaming club, and so on.) Most of the kids there had had terrible experiences in public schools, and I think they benefited from a more relaxed and casual environment.

With that said, I have seen some homeschooled kids whose parents didn't push them at all to learn. In the worst cases, they didn't want to learn to read, so their parents let them put off and put off and put off learning to read until they were "ready." I think any kid needs some degree of a push to do some learning instead of goofing off all day.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[(Anonymous)]

(15-year-old anon from upthread again.) You're talking about unschooling. It's what all of my friends do. All of them know how to read, at least, but I don't think any of them have taken any non-"fun" formal classes (e.g. math beyond basic arithmetic, English). Basically, yeah, if they don't want to do it they don't have to. It's a twitchy topic in the homeschooling community, like so very many things.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[(Anonymous)]

I was unschooled from 12 on -- my mother hit a wall with me and math (and frankly, my brain just wasn't ready for it. I went to the local junior college for it and when I was 17, I flunked beginning algebra. When I was 20, I got an A+. My brain literally had to click), and since I was an exceptional reader, she decided to let me immerse myself in my own interests. So I became extremely good at history, knitting, singing, riding a bike, writing terrible Mary-Sue novels, philosophy, humor and any number of things. Whenever I was floundering for what to do, I was guided into trying something new. When I got very into something, it was okay for my whole world to become about it. Say, for example, I suddenly got into castles. I would read every book available on castles, I would make paper castles, I would be taken to the museum to see pictures of castles (we don't have any ruins or actual castles on this coast, so that was close enough), I would become a castle expert, and in the mean time, learn a little something about research and geometry.

That right there is good unschooling in practice. I have a friend whose mother got very into the "idea" of unschooling, but basically used it as an excuse to completely neglect her younger child. That kid now has no foundation to build upon in learning, no direction, and frankly, no respect for a mother that tried to have her out of the house and in other peoples' care as often as possible.

Re: What's Wrong With Attachment Parenting?

[mechanosapience]

Honestly, that level of isolation frightens me. It's the kind of thing people who don't want their kids to be exposed to the wrong ideas or mandatory reporters do.