Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-06-20 07:59 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-06-20 07:59 pm
[ SECRET POST #2726 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2726 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
01.
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02.
[Naruto]
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03.
[Transformers: Prime]
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04.
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05. http://i.imgur.com/dkPX9Ym.gif
[moving .gif, Steven Ogg, Grand Theft Auto V]
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06.
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07. [SPOILERS for Murder in the First]
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08. [SPOILERS for Game of Thrones]
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09. [WARNING for rape]
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10. [WARNING for rape]
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11. [WARNING for rape, abuse, etc]
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12. [WARNING for rape, abuse, pedophilia, incest, ironically enough none of which OP warned for]
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13. [WARNING for eating disorders]
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14. [WARNING for suicide]
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15. [WARNING for sexual abuse]
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #389.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - ships it ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-21 03:09 am (UTC)(link)Except that I think it should be talked about, and this attitude ensures that it isn't.
And before you assume, part of the reason I think it should be talked about is because, according to most definitions, I've been raped. I've been raped over, and over, and over again. And I don't like that, and I don't think it's right, because I don't think I've been raped. I've consented every single time, but even though it's considered okay for me to drink, it's not considered okay that someone has sex with me after I've had something to drink (EVEN THOUGH I'M OKAY WITH IT). And those same people will turn around and say that someone who gets violent while drinking is still responsible for his or her actions.
Why? Why am I not responsible but they are? Why is it that having a few drinks and then choosing to have sex makes it so that I no longer know my own mind or my own desires, but if I were to have a few drinks and then choose to beat someone senseless, then I'd totally know my own mind and my own desires? Why is that considered okay?
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-21 03:13 am (UTC)(link)The majority of people make a distinction between intoxicated but aware and too intoxicated to consent.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-21 03:22 am (UTC)(link)Maybe I've just come across too many people recently who don't.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-21 04:08 am (UTC)(link)Have you maybe considered seeing someone? I mean, like professionally? Because it kind of sounds like you might have some stuff to work through.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-21 04:18 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-21 06:03 am (UTC)(link)Sex and alcohol when the person drinking is still awake and lucid is a fuzzy situation, and whether or not rape occurs depends on a number of contextual factors. It's similar to the way people in established relationships don't necessarily need an explicit, verbal "yes" for every sexual encounter, because they know one another's nonverbal cues - which they have probably explicitly discussed ahead of time. Consensual, enthusiastic sex between two married partners who do not explicitly say, "Hey honey, feel like a quickie this morning?" is not the same as marital rape.
Similarly, a number of mitigating factors can push a drunken sexual encounter in "more consensual" or "less consensual" directions. Did the drunk person plan or agree to have sex with their partner before they started drinking? More consensual. Did the sexual partner pressure the drunk person to consume more alcohol than they were comfortable drinking in the hope of getting them to agree to sex? Less consensual.
Alcohol impairs judgment. That's simply one of the symptoms of alcohol intoxication. Having sex with someone whose judgment is impaired is questionable in terms of consent, which is why the "when in doubt, don't" philosophy is encouraged with regard to sex with drunk people. That doesn't mean that it's impossible for you or someone else to have consensual sex while drunk, just that it's important for your partner(s) to be a lot more careful about establishing consent.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2014-06-21 07:18 am (UTC)(link)