[ SECRET POST #2737 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2737 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 041 secrets from Secret Submission Post #391.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

09. https://31.media.tumblr.com/3d63bf150ac3d83698a952c7cc2f44c3/tumblr_n7t2oln6hF1rq2vv5o1_500.png

[(Anonymous)]

Does it have to be embarrassing, though? Like, when I think about fandom, I think about people who are really really into a fictional work in a way that most people aren't. However, I think everyone has at least ONE special interest topic that they geek out over and know almost everything about and would weird people out if they started geeking out about it in public. But the thing is -- is it really bad for them to reveal such a thing?

Maybe it's just my life experiences / where I find myself now, but I think hearing someone talk about that thing is great! As long as they're aware other people won't be as enthusiastic, but I mean, you've basically found an expert on a particular topic and you can find out something new or get the expert's view without having to put in ANY time to research said thing. I think that's cool. Rather than thinking about it like "Oh god, this person is saying something embarrassing," I like to think about it as an opportunity to learn something new very easily.

[kallanda_lee]

Ehm, so what?

People around me talk about stuff I'm not interested all the time. "Socially acceptable" subjects like sport, the renovations they did to their house, how their kids (that I don't know) are doing at school. Why the hell is it so much worse when people discuss something they love (I.e. fandom) because they might be a minority in loving it? Fuck it, they can listen to somehing I like for 10 minutes. I'm not going to discuss m slash pairing in detail, but yeah, I'll talk about my love for Marvel, or Doctor Who, or that I went to a con, or whatever.

[jaybie_jarrett]

IA

I don't see how "socially acceptable" things are any different. Hell "regular" people discuss shows they watched so why is fandom so bad. I understand not getting into uncomfortable conversations with some people if they don't want. But fandom in general is not "omg embarassing"

and TBH I can't stand "*criiiiiinge* Let me be embarrassed for you because I think you should be" bullshit from rude people who just have to shove it in your face how they disapprove of what you enjoy.

No, you don't need to be fucking 'embarrassed for me' for talking about my hobbies and passions with people I know IRL. Take your shitty concern trolling and fuck off

[kallanda_lee]

Exactly - there is stuff that some fans do that I consider to be cringe-worthy, but simply talking about the subject? There's nothing inherently embarrassing about that.

[jaybie_jarrett]

Yeah.

Being someone who used to be horribly awkward before,I know what awkward and cringeworthy looks like.

[tabaqui]

And, hello - sometimes people talk about 'regular' stuff that's pretty fucking cringe-worthy, too.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

It's not so much just that it's about fandom, but the way they talk about. Just really loud and overwater and trying to force it onto people who clearly aren't interested.

Plus a lot of talk about slash, how cute gay people are, and feels.

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed, OP, I can't handle it when people talk like run on tumblr hashtag rants in real life. So uncomfortable :(

Re: OP

[(Anonymous)]

Or talk about what their RP character did last night with their imaginary boyfriend like it was real people. Or what members of a popular pairing would get up to in bed. All at an incredibly loud volume as they can't control their voice when they get excited. Teenagers I could forgive but this is someone in their late 20s who really needs to control her volume or figure out acceptable subjects to shout about in a small cafe.

[(Anonymous)]

Reminds me of when I took a social media course that touched on fandom... the guy used the most extreme examples and introduced everyone to fanfiction.net, where they found kinky Harry Potter fic ... it was sooo awkward, because when I tried to explain, I was drowned out by "THEY'RE SO WEIRD AND FREAKISH." Sigh. I wish he'd gone light. And not shown a video about cosplayers who were the worst examples of cosplayers ever. I don't even cosplay and I was offended.

[making_excuses]

Depends on what your definition of fandom is also who you are talking about it with. Because talking about films, tv and video games are all socially acceptable things to talk about. Even going into the more in depth discussions is cool, talking about shipping is slightly more iffy, but depending on what you ship and how you talk about it, nothing wrong with that.

Fanart and things you read on the internet is also topics you could talk about in a normal social setting without sticking out much.

Fanfiction and cosplaying are the first two I can think of that you might not want to be talking too deeply about so everyone could hear about it, but even that is dependent on which topic and setting you are in and talking about.

It also is dependent on which vocabulary you use, some words and phrases belong on the internet, some concepts have to be explained in a different way and some stuff is just not things you talk about in a social setting. But that is not just fandom stuff, bodily functions, family problems, personal issues and political/religious discussions are also something that should be done in a small social setting.

[elaminator]

Well said! You're right, I think. Lots of people talk about films, tv, etc on a regular basis with people who know nothing about fandom, and I don't see how discussing media at length is embarrassing. It's okay to be passionate about things you like. And hell, even if people want to say, "You know, I really like *insert couple here*", I don't see the problem with that. You don't even need to mention 'shipping', you can just mention that you like the dynamics between the characters. If they get it, they get it, if they don't you 'played it safe'.

Now if you bring up A/B/O in casual conversation...dear god. That would most likely be awkward, yes.

[allkindsoffur]

Now if you bring up A/B/O in casual conversation...

Hmm, might be a good way to escape from that boring date/school-reunion/family get-together...;) Thanks for the tip!

[elaminator]

Anything to be of service!

[dinogrrl]

^This.
It is completely in how you talk about fandom/anything you like/anything at all, not the fact that you're talking about it.

[riddian]

If people are going to judge you even if you're not in the conversation, then why not participate anyway and try to have fun? There are worse topics you could be discussing in public. And it's none of those judgmental strangers' business anyway, so fuck 'em. People can talk about nerdy topics if they want.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really, really curious why you think fandom and talking about fandom related things is a negative thing and that GASP other people might look down on you for it!

Look, if people are giving you weird looks for talking about fandom things, well they can go fuck themselves. You do not owe anyone anything, and you are not required to live by their rules, their likes, their dislikes, their opinions or their logical fallacies!

The only person who can look down on you and shame you for liking fandom is you. Other people can try, certainly, but you don't have to give them an ounce of respect. That goes for your co-workers/bosses/teachers/parents/etc. They don't have to like what you do or discuss in your private time. That's for YOU.

If someone is looking down on you, belittling you, giving you weird looks, then ignore them. Or tell them to mind their own business (if you're bold enough). Don't let them get to you! You can do it, you're strong enough OP!

(Alternately, if you're ashamed of being in fandom you may want to take a long look at why, and why you still participate)

[(Anonymous)]

There's a difference between "no one can judge you!" and "talking about your slash ships at a school function is inappropriate"

[(Anonymous)]

I agree to an extent.

Talking about the fandom itself isn't bad, like if you're just discussing a TV show or movie or whatever with someone else. That's cool.

But when you start talking about fanfiction and slash ships and fanart or references to 'the fandom', then things get awkward.

[(Anonymous)]

You can't control what other people talk about in public or whether you feel comfortable with it, but you can control who you hang out with. I mean, you could mention it to your friends and maybe they'll choose to stop discussing it in public. But I'm one of those people who talks about fandom stuff all the time with all sorts of people and I'd see no reason to stop doing so. But no one's forced to hang out with me if they hate that and it makes them feel judged or something.

[nightscale]

For me it depends. Like I'll happily talk about movies, games, TV shows, and characters I like in public but I wont discuss anything like shipping or fanfic because I'd get too embarrassed about it.

[(Anonymous)]

Who...cares, though? I've never understood this. Even if they're being loud and very Tumblr (squeeing about "feels" and such), why does it matter if people are judging? They're having fun.

It's the exact same thing as Japanophiles from when I was a teen. A group of nerdlets hanging out in school hallways and quite literally squealing about their "kawaii bishies" and using all sorts of fan!Japanese, often trying to get others into the topic and almost always getting rebuffed or outright mocked/ridiculed by "regular" people...but man, they didn't give one shit, they were having too much fun with each other. And even though I wasn't really part of their group, I knew enough to be included, and you know what? I always had a blast with them. It's refreshing to be amongst people who ran out of fucks to give a long time ago.

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

Well I tend to treat anyone I mention my fandom interests to as a complete non-fandom muggle, unless they say otherwise. That means I will say I like to read fanfic, and if they act like they don't understand what that is, I will explain it in basic terms, and I will probably mention which fandom I am currently in at the moment, but shipping is not a ready subject and slash is a total no-no. If they prove to be someone who knows a little about fandom I might go a bit further, but even then I won't go into detail.

I try to avoid offending people, so I am careful how much I mention.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, how dare people be excited about something in public because people might judge you.

It's not like you're judged for your clothes or how you stand or what you do for a job, after all.

/sarcasm

OP, people will judge you regardless. Quit worrying about what other people think and learn to have some fun.