fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2752 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2752 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Fargo]

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03.

[Orange is the New Black]

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04.

[Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton]

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05.

[DS9, Far Beyond the Stars]

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06.

[Starsky & Hutch]

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07.

[Trent Reznor, Nine Inch Nails]

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08.

[Captain America: The Winter Soldier]

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09.

[Galerians]

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10.

[Penny Dreadful]

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11.

[The Wolf Among us/Enslaved]

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12.

[Wes Craven's Scream franchise]

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13.

[One Piece]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 029 secrets from Secret Submission Post #393.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

She is apparently very against the concept of gray asexuality. If your sexual attraction is very rare, you're still not asexual and it harms real asexuals when people with the potential to someday decide they want to have sex to call themselves asexual. Because that means people will think real asexuals can be persuaded into finding that special person who will make them suddenly sexual too.

Fair enough, I say.

Well...except that sexuality is fluid and it can change. Which is a pretty important concept for people to understand.

I can see her point of view - that it would make people think it's just a phase or something.

On the other hand, I think there are a lot of straight- and gay-identified people who may be capable of occasionally feeling attraction towards their non-preferred gender and yet they are still so close to the extreme ends of the straight-bi-gay spectrum that it doesn't really make sense to call them bi. In other words, I think it is best for people to identify with what they mostly are, so if you are mostly asexual, it makes sense to me for you to identify as asexual, just like a mostly straight person would identify as straight.

I guess if we're going to put ourselves in boxes, I prefer those boxes be fairly generalized and the boundaries a bit fuzzy. At the end of the day, people have all kinds of feelings and attractions and we can't get too picky about how we define those, or we start to place unnecessary limits on people and deny their experiences.

Hmmm, I agree that sexuality can change sometimes (although obviously there are plenty of times when it hasn't) but I also totally get your point. Maybe there just needs to be a word for something that's in between?

And kind of off-topic but isn't it supposed to be about some vague definition of "sexual attraction" or something instead of "not wanting to have sex"? I think the not wanting to have sex part makes way more sense though because not being attracted to someone but having sex with them anyway seems like...basically everyone (that likes sex) at one point or another, to me.

From what I understand, there's a lot of debate and lack-of-consensus within the asexual community. Even if your friend is ace herself, she is not the Final Arbiter of All Things Asexual. You can identify in whatever way feels true and accurate to you, and that's okay even if your friend doesn't think your identity is legitimate.

[ SECRET POST #2752 ]

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