[ SECRET POST #2753 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2753 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 016 secrets from Secret Submission Post #393.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Favorite lines from your own writing?

[iwasanartist]

Gah, I'm so late to the party. And apparently only good at finding entire passages.

From "Man Up," a Castle fic featuring Kevin Ryan, his [my headcanon for this particular story] genderqueer wife, and their first time pegging (I really like the quiet way Jenny starts to doubt herself after cutting her hair -- the one thing she's done that she can't undo

Kevin was silent as she trailed off. Soon her cheeks began to flush and he could see a flash of red creep up her neck at the collar.

"It's stupid," she said as she undid the jacket. "I don't know what I was thinking." She shrugged out of the jacket and hung it on the back of a kitchen chair. "God, my hair," she whispered, but Kevin had stopped listening. He could only stare at the gray vest that snugly wrapped itself around her body, the yellow tie that disappeared beneath it and the crisp white sleeves that stretched from shoulders to cuffs.

From the same story, after the first broaching of the subject did not go well, they've started talking (I love that this isn't an easy thing to just jump into, and they open a real dialogue about their wants and fears, and that ultimately they're both willing to do/not do something for the other)
"Do you..." He paused, struggling to find words for a question he wasn't sure he wanted to ask. "Do you want it to be real?" he finally said. The question hung in the air, the possibilities of its answer almost painful between them.

"I don't know," she answered. "A year ago I'd have said..." she trailed off as her voice began to shake. She swallowed once and when she spoke again her voice was steady. "Not always," she finally said. "But sometimes I wonder."

He took another drink and the uncomfortable silence threatened to encroach again.

"Baby, it's okay," she said before it could. "We don't..." She took a deep breath. "Maybe we can...we can just wipe tonight from the books, no harm, no foul. I mean, this isn't what you signed up for, I know."

"But it's important to you?"

"You're important to me." Untangling their fingers, she took his hand in hers and gave a gentle squeeze. "It's okay."

A quietness filled the air. Not the uncomfortable silence that had hung previously, just a gentle, peaceful quiet. Neither had turned a light on, and the falling sun left a slight glow that was beginning to fade into a gray darkness. He watched her as she set her drink down and tugged at her tie. The knot traveled a few inches south and she undid a few buttons, loosening the collar of the white dress shirt. Arching her body and with one foot on the coffee table, she leaned back, resting her head on the back edge of their couch as the sun disappeared.

"You better get to work," he said finally.

"I'm sorry?"

"Hey, I am not an easy lay," he said with a smile. "I require wining and dining -- maybe a little more wining..."

She smiled as he spoke and scooted toward him.

"Wining and dining," she whispered in his ear before drawing lazy circles with her tongue. One hand combed through his hair as the other came to rest on the fabric of his T-shirt, just over his heart.

"Mm hmm," he answered. "And flowers would not be remiss."

"Flowers," she repeated as she kissed the corner of his mouth and then his cheek. "I thought maybe I'd just do this," she said, pressing her lips firmly to that spot at the edge of his jaw, just beneath his ear.

"Or that," Kevin groaned and pulled her onto his lap, her knees surrounding his hips. "That works, too." She leaned forward, pressing herself against him as her lips traveled up his neck and across his throat before finding purchase at his mouth.

From "Caught Up in the Pleasure or the Pain," another Castle fic where everything is wrong but then very right between Ryan and Esposito (I included the first paragraph for context, but there's something about Ryan wiping his mouth and not knowing what to do with hands after kissing Esposito that I've always loved)
Ryan came to his senses and broke the kiss, removing his hands from Esposito's face and backing quickly away. Esposito knew he was staring, wide-eyed and agape, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't do anything but watch as red flushed its way up Ryan's neck, around his ears and into his cheeks

"I'm sorry," Ryan said. "I'm sorry." He wiped his mouth, shoved his hands in his pockets, pulled them back out and crossed his arms across his chest, looking everywhere but at Esposito as blind panic and a desperate need for flight began to set in. "I'm sorry, Javi."

Same story (I made the switch to first names once they actually started being intimate instead of just having sex, and I like this passage where Javier tries to make up for being super selfish in the bedroom without exceeding his own comfort zone)
Kevin writhed against him. The curve of his back hugged Javier's cock, and he could feel it begin to harden again. Moving his mouth from Kevin's neck, he focused on the wall in front of them. He wanted this, for once, to be about Kevin. He thought of other things as he tried to ignore the ache in his groin.

Baseball. Football. Sandwiches. Gunshots. A streak of red on a bathroom wall.

Javier squeezed his eyes tightly shut against imagery that had invaded his brain. He focused instead on Kevin. The sound of his breath. The salt of his flesh. The feel of slick skin in his hand. Sweat beaded at Kevin's brow as he began to tense. Javier swore he could hear Kevin's heart racing. Feel the blood coursing through his veins.

And one that isn't sex (I love this memory of Javier's. Both because I think I do a good job showing the difference between Child!Javi's status and the other kids' status via valentines, but I also have a super soft spot for the line about literally having his heart thrown away.
It had been a long time since anyone had called Javier special. Strong, tough and brave, sure. A good soldier. A good cop. But special? His grandmother had called him special once. He was 8 and suffering his first heartbreak at the hands of a pig-tailed little girl who had laughed at his valentine. The other boys had fancy cards with perforated edges and witty messages next to cartoon characters, sports stars and superheroes.

Javier -- Jimmy, as everyone called him then -- could still remember his: a lopsided heart cut from construction paper with a simple "BE MY VALENTINE" in silver glitter, the last word curving upward as he ran out of space, others smearing as he folded it before the glue was all the way dry. And it was green. When the teacher stepped out of the room, the whole class laughed. They called him poor and dirty, and the girl of his dreams discarded his heart with barely a second glance.

He went home that day in tears. His grandmother called him to her lap and gently coaxed the story out of him. Afterward, she held him tight and kissed his head.

"Listen to me, mijo," she said. "Forget about them. You are a very special boy and some day you'll meet a very special girl who will love you no matter what."

Javier's eyes stung with tears. He tried to fight them off, but several burned their way down his face anyway. Kevin did him the courtesy of not looking, instead gently patting Javier's leg, letting his fingers linger for a moment before rising and walking silently down the hall.