[ SECRET POST #2756 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2756 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #394.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets (random images from what appears to be one spammy anon) ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Genderswap and abusive ships

[sarillia]

I was definitely only acknowledging one aspect of the relationship. You're right that there are a lot of other areas where things would change. I still feel like the important thing is the effects on the characters though. Your hypothetical man who is being ribbed about being weaker by another man could be insecure and hurt by that. Whereas the hypothetical woman could be confident and not care at all because she knows that she more than makes up for it in other areas.

But again, you're right that I'm ignoring the way gender influences the way people are perceived. What I just said works when you assume the sexes are equal but gets a lot more complicated when you remember how men and women have been expected to stay in their little boxes and often still face problems when they stay inside them.

I'll have to think about this more.

Re: Genderswap and abusive ships

[nyxelestia]

I said my thoughts in the comment below yours, but in short, "change in how others perceive the relationship" =/= "change in the relationship itself". Just because we tend to laugh off female-on-male abuse as "harmless" doesn't change the fact that it is abuse and shouldn't be laughed off. Respecting your partners' requests, boundaries, and capabilities are far more important than just what those capabilities actually are.

Re: Genderswap and abusive ships

[sarillia]

I agree with you. I just also agree with anon that I was simplifying before and that perceptions do enter into it. It's not about "people think it's fine so it is", or at least that's not what anon's comment had me thinking of. I was thinking more about how people are affected by the oppressive messages they are bombarded with and how that impacts the way they can handle things that can either be harmless or hurtful depending on various factors (like the ribbing about being weak that anon was talking about).

Re: Genderswap and abusive ships

[nyxelestia]

I can understand that. I really was just thinking about the relationship itself, rather than how people perceive the relationship, because I'm so used to dismissing other people's perceptions of a relationship anyway (I do not care how often its played for laughs, female-on-male abuse is still abuse and female-on-male rape is still rape, and fuck so much of fandom and popular media for believing or trying to make us believe otherwise).