[ SECRET POST #2756 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2756 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #394.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 - not!secrets (random images from what appears to be one spammy anon) ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Boy/girl clothes/hair styles

[nyxelestia]

Women have much more room to present or engage in masculinity than men have for femininity, because our culture tends to place masculinity and masculine traits as higher and more important than feminine ones.

But ahead of both masculinity and femininity is gender conformity - conforming in presentation and action to your sex.

Growing up, I've generally looked feminine, but I've also generally acted masculine - probably one of my core characteristics as a kid (reading a lot) was fairly gender neutral, and the only feminine thing I cared about was my hair. Otherwise, I judged clothes based on how well I could play or climb a tree in them, which meant a lot of dresses passed muster while a lot of boys' clothes didn't. I also was always a little on the aggressive/assertive side, loud, obnoxious, downright arrogant, bossy...basically, if you described my personality to someone, over nine times out of ten they would assume you were talking about a boy.

I had people who generally didn't care about my gender in relation to my personality. These people rocked, and I am well aware of how lucky I am that both my parents were like this, and were willing to go to bat for me when needed.

I had some people who praised me for pursuing a more masculine personality 'despite' being a girl, and in these cases, it was people who were subliminally projecting that masculinity is better than femininity, so while they probably meant well (I know I usually meant well when I bought into this mentality as a kid), it was still an unhealthy gender perception at work. BUT - at least it wasn't a restrictive one, and accepted difference between sex and gender. This is important, because...

I also had people who would tell me to stop acting like such a boy or to act more lady-like or girly or whatever, and that was an even unhealthier gender perception. This not only takes the unhealthy stance that sex and gender are the same thing or mutually inclusive, but that differentiation between a preset societal expectation of you is unhealthy and bad, which sets the precedent for a lot of other unhealthy attitudes, too.