fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2773 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2773 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Maplestory]

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(Ted and Ralph, The Fast Show)

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[Big Hero 6]

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[Law & Order: Criminal Intent]

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[Arashi no Yoru ni]

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07. http://i.imgur.com/QnC2dWq.jpg
[Hannibal, linked for nudity and gore]

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have a ring coming in the mail that I really like and plan to wear almost every day (the same way I wear the same heirloom earrings every day that I work). It has a religious symbol that is extremely meaningful to me, and I don't want to go put without it. (I've tried to find the perfect pendant of the symbol but so far no luck.) It's a small ring, but I'm fairly certain I can wear it on my ring finger of either hand.

Here's my issue: said ring is shaped in a way that could be mistaken for a wedding band. At work, my coworkers and clientele are Russian, and Russians and Soviets wear the wedding band on their right hand. I don't want to wear it on my right and have to keep fending off questions and congratulations.

But if I put it on my left, the second I go outside into the American world, I'm suddenly married here as well. So what do you think? Should I just wear it on my left and hope that I won't have to keep explaining that I'm not married (as opposed to me *definitely* having to explain it at my workplace -- plus these are old Russian people, they forget by the next day and have to ask again. Also they love gossip and will start rumors which, while amusing, might get me into come uncomfortable moments), or do I switch hands depending on where I am?

For that matter, do you personally notice peoples' wedding bands in general? I don't usually notice unless I'm directly focused on someone's hands, but other people might. There are all kinds of jokes and stories about people being able to spot a wedding band from a mile away.

Thoughts?

Are you welding it to a hand? Just wear it where it would be appropriate for the setting.

And no, I don't typically go staring for wedding bands, unless I'm looking for a date.

I work approximately half of a day. I will eventually forget to switch hands, that's a certainty.

Doesn't seem to be an issue for OP but some people's fingers are different sizes from one hand to the other.

Put it on a chain and wear it around your neck?

I wish I could, but it's not a closed circle.

I don't notice wedding bands much.

Also if it has religious symbolism - does it even look like a wedding band in the first place? I wear rings of all shapes and sizes on pretty much all fingers, and only once in my life was I asked if it was a wedding band (though granted, that was in America).

There's two obvious things you can do, it seems:

a) You switch hands depending on where you are.
b) you wear several rings so it doesn't stand out.

It definitely looks like a wedding band. It's the same metal as most Russian bands, and the symbol, while not something usually worn on a wedding band, is set in a way that it could still comfortably function as a wedding band (ie, it doesn't have any edges that stick out and catch on things, and the symbol is of one piece with the band). It looks like a more elaborate ring that someone of our religion would get married with (though they would be rather hardcore.)

if it's a band, wear it alongside or with another ring?

It's not a bad idea! I'll have to go through my ring collection (although I think my sister made off with the one heirloom ring that would have looked best with it. Jokes on her, that ring is made out of the leftover fillings from our ancestors' teeth. *shudder*)

My Mum wears her wedding ring on a chain around her neck (she picked up the habit while she was pregnant with my brothers since her fingers swelled up to much to wear it), is this something you could do/be willing to do?

I have no idea about American or Russian customs but isn't a wedding band worn a specific finger? I'd only assume someone was married if I saw a ring on their ring finger not if they wore it on their index finger for example.

afaik its only if you wear it on your ring finger. btw in Russia if u wear ring on right hand that means ur married and on left hand that means ur widowed, or maybe left=married right=widow i can't remember.

Both my parents wear theirs on their right, and I only found out very recently that both of them are wearing resized family rings. My great-grandmother was still living when my mother got married, so I assume she simply wasn't wearing the ring at all as opposed to wearing on her left as a widow. I remember my own grandmother didn't wear hers anymore and she's been widowed 20 years by the time I was born. When she passed one of the things we got handed down to us was her and my late grandfathers' wedding rings on a chain. I hadn't even known she still had them.

I'd just wear it on my left hand and switch it if you want to not be mistaken as married outside of your workplace.

I am mostly surprised by the fact that your wedding bands go on the left hand, as I am used to right hand for wedding bands and left hand for everything else. Also that people would notice it to any extent, but that might just be a culture thing, most married folks I know don't use their wedding bands, they just keep it in a box somewhere.

Could you wear it on, say, your middle finger rather than your ring finger? Since wedding bands are traditionally worn on the ring finger (at least in US custom), that would hopefully prevent most misunderstandings.

Unless it's too small for that finger, this is a good idea. I notice jewelry sometimes (because I dig it), but even if I saw a ring that looked like a wedding ring, if it wasn't on the right finger I don't think I would jump to the assumption that, “This person is married or engaged”. (Granted, even if they were wearing one on their ring finger I probably wouldn't ask because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable, but do whatever works best for you.)

I would suggest dressing it up with more (and more decorative) rings so it doesn't stand out, if you're comfortable doing that. Also definitely don't wear it on your ring finger.

I don't think most Americans give a shit, but if you want, wear another ring or two alongside that one -- it'll be less likely to be mistaken for a wedding band if it's not your only ring.

Put it on a chain.

I notice wedding bands if I happen to see someone attractive. But that's really the only time I go looking for them. (I'm married BTW, and happily so. There's no law against looking.)

[ SECRET POST #2773 ]

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