fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2773 ]

[ SECRET POST #2773 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2773 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Maplestory]

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03.

(Ted and Ralph, The Fast Show)

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04.

[Big Hero 6]

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05.

[Law & Order: Criminal Intent]

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06.

[Arashi no Yoru ni]

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07. http://i.imgur.com/QnC2dWq.jpg
[Hannibal, linked for nudity and gore]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #396.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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So, yeah, this is a bit of a rant.
(a rant, a.k.a fate hates me).

My dad's getting surgery on Friday. It's pretty major, as in: there's a chance he won't make it. I don't know how much percentage wise, but they're taking out a tumor that is unfortunately close to stuff that might make him bleed out if anything goes wrong.

Which, in itself is bad enough. I've been stressing over this for the last month, and now finally the date is set. As some of you know, I had very bad anxiety years ago, and all this stress is sort of bringing some of it back.

He's optimistic and I'm glad, but it doesn't stop me from worrying. I've been dizzy all day today and I think it might be psychosomatic, especially as my heartbeat's been doing overtime.

To make it worse, my estranged halfsister (as, in: I never knew she existed until I was a teen estranged), texted me today, after over a year of not contacting me, if I could keep her updated. Now, I have such mixed feelings. I was really glad to hear from her, but also sort of annoyed she hasn't contacted me under *normal* circumstances, and that she only does so in times like this. I know why:she and my mom dislike each other profusely, and she probably doesn't trust my mom to keep her updated. Which, fair enough. But, I don't feel comfortable that I might have to be the bearer of bad news if the worst scenario plays out.

To make it even worse, I was supposed to have a job interview this week - and it was already postponed once (from their side), and now they're postponing it again, asking if I can make it on Friday - you guessed it, at the very time my dad will be in surgery.

I REALLY do not want to be doing a job interview while my dad is in surgery, but I REALLY don't want seem like I do not care about this job interview, either - it's for something I want, and I haven't had a decent job interview in months (all I had were shitty temp positions). I need to tell them tomorrow if I can make it on Friday, and I really don't know what to do. The anxiety of EITHER a job interview OR my dad's surgery is enough to make me unravel, but I honestly don't know if I can take both at once.

My heart tells me to reschedule on another day, but, I'm afraid I'll look uninterested. And if I downright tell them the truth I'm scared they'll see me a someone who chooses personal life over the job.

And this is how my life is a soap opera. I swear, fate hates me. My family is fucked up, and I have no idea what to do about the job situation.

Frame it right and it won't seem like you're uninterested in the job, just that you'd prefer they see you at your best and most effective.

:< I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you and your dad. Life sure does like to pick a time to dump on you, doesn't it?

Thank you; that's kind of you.

And yes, life does. Story of my life. *sigh*

You can always say that you have something on Fryday without spicifying. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. Sleep on it and decide tommorow.

That's sort of what I as planning, I just don't know if it makes it worse or better.

It shouldn't be a dealbreaker for sure. I mean, you communicated your change of plans, that's responsible enough. I think relaxing is a priority. See how you feel tommorow. Maybe you'll want to go to take your mind off things or for a change of pace.

Re: On my dad, anxiety, my estranged sister, and damn job interviews (in which my life is a soap ope

solticisekf - 2014-08-07 00:45 (UTC) - Expand

Re: On my dad, anxiety, my estranged sister, and damn job interviews (in which my life is a soap ope

kallanda_lee - 2014-08-07 02:53 (UTC) - Expand

If they drop you as a potential candidate, because you want to reschedule due to your father having major cancer surgery, they're not worth working for. This is a good way to find out.

Instinctively, I feel the same.

Realistically though, I really, really need this gig.

This was my thought. I can't imagine any legitimate workplace giving you shit because your dad is having an extremely risky operation.

However, like someone else mentioned, you can just say you have an urgent matter to take care of on Friday, and you'd really appreciate it if you could reschedule. Since the first time was on their end, and you (presumably) went with it, they shouldn't give you trouble.

And if I downright tell them the truth I'm scared they'll see me a someone who chooses personal life over the job.

Not to sound like JERBZ are just raining out of the sky or anything, but if that's the case with them, would you want to work at a place that makes zero exceptions for personal life? It's not like your dad's getting a wart removed.

I could also turn the scenario around... if you take the job interview, and it comes out that your dad is having surgery that day, they could see you as a person who has issues with prioritizing. (Of course, I may be exaggerating a bit here)

You said your heart tells you to reschedule... in this case, I think you should listen to it. Of course, this may result in one lost opportunity, but your dad is more important. There may not be tons of jobs at the moment, but there's only one Dad.

I don't think anybody but the most cold-blooded hiring manager would judge someone for wanting to reschedule because their father was undergoing major surgery. Just my opinion, though I can understand not wanting to explain this to them, but it might help, as long as you come across as calm and responsible. I hope everything goes okay for you.

to be quite honest if they aren't understanding of your dad being in MAJOR LIFE-THREATENING SURGERY they might not be a company you want to work for. Besides, it's been postponed on their end; this isn't your fault. But yeah, this is a BIG DEAL, if you say "my dad is having major surgery so I can't make it on Friday" they should be understanding.

(Please let us know how the surgery goes!)

Yeah, you're right. I know you're right. I'm just so used to asshole employers it's not even funny.

(And yes, I'll let you know one way or another)

By all means reschedule. There's a difference between "values personal life over job" and "doesn't want to be in a job interview while their father is in life-threatening surgery", and the latter is entirely reasonable and perhaps even a positive.

Also, here's a virtual hug if you want one. I hope your dad is okay and you get the job.

Thank you, *virtual hug back*.

Honestly if a company wouldn't hire you because you'd rather be close to your father while he's undergoing very serious surgery, they do not sound like a company worth working for. But it's completely your call how you handle this.

All I can do is offer you virtual hugs and the hope that you father will be alright.

Thank you...*hugs* back. I still have time until morning to think it through, but frankly the more I think the more confused I get.

I 100% agree with everyone else; if this place doesn't understand your situation, then you probably shouldn't be working for them. The reality of the situation is shit, I do get that (money is good!), but if you want to reschedule, I think you should. You would probably regret it and be anxious and worried the entire time, you know? If you explain you won't be able to show up and give them your best they should respect that.

I hope everything goes well with your father. In the meantime try to take care of yourself, and I wish you all the best.

Thank you - that's actually my main concern. That I'll be a nervous wreck during the interview, and constantly dreading a text or something that there's a problem (or missing a text, and then not being there, because the interview is about an hour's drive from the hospital, in optimal traffic conditions).

In that case, I really do think it best you go with your heart. If you don't feel comfortable doing an interview that day, you shouldn't; no half decent person could fault you for that.

If you explain the situation (in broad strokes: your father is having major surgery), they will understand. And in the unlikely case that they don't, you'll have dodged a major bullet.

*hugs*

Best wishes for your dad.

Thank you :)

Will be keeping my fingers crossed for you on Friday. I hope everythings goes well. *hugs if you want them*

You've gotten a lot of advice already, but I'd just add, I'd suggest being open with them about what's going on. If they then give you crap because your dad is in surgery, they are NOT someone you want to be working for. I'd give the info just as another way to evaluate the job, personally.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. *hugs and soothing drink of choice offered*

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