Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2014-08-07 07:26 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2014-08-07 07:26 pm
[ SECRET POST #2774 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2774 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 011 secrets from Secret Submission Post #396.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
Re: Small things that annoy you
I try so hard to remember as a parent the stuff that really wounded me as a kid, and I hope I manage to avoid doing that stuff to mine.
Re: Small things that annoy you
Me as well. I've decided that if I ever have children on the autistic spectrum (or even not) I'll do my best to remember little things like that and understand what's important to them. and I won't justify everything I do with "but this is my house"
Also what bothers me about my parents is that my mom acknowledges that my maturity doesn't quite match up with my age. That my mental age is like....17 or something but she and Dad still sometimes fall back on "We don't HAVE to let you live here since you're over 18" . Not only does it feel like guilting and kinda sketch. But also because it's inconsistent.
Re: Small things that annoy you
It's so hard not to screw up parenting. I have done it over and over again, and I hope that my screw ups are not things that will seriously scar my kiddos.
I think what a lot of parents don't realize is that kids want control in the same way that grown ups do. I'm a control freak; when things are out of my control, I get seriously anxious and upset about them. And children are not in control of a lot of aspects of their lives (some for good reason; if I let Emma decide what she wanted to eat, it would be an all pie diet LOL); giving them as much control over their lives as possible in the areas where it's appropriate is really a good thing. And taking away control over petty issues that can be otherwise managed is just dicky. IMHO
Re: Small things that annoy you
I agree. I am honestly afraid to have kids.
My parents think I spend too much time online and they often call it 'unhealthy and liken it to a drug addiction. When I try to explain how my internet friendships are important to me and they I DO get anxious when I'm away without explanation but they always seem to be like "see doesn't that sound like a problem to you". And just....augh it makes me want to scream.
I admit I can be dramatic but when they say things like "if you do that , you'll never get internet in our house again" I just get scared. I also get frustrated trying to talk to them because. I can't....I can't articulate how I want to all the time. I get intimidated and just yell or break down crying.
Like I feel like they act like I'm some sort of wild child who wants to break laws and party but all I want is to be able to peacefully do my thing, and doesn't like being blamed for why I can't find a job (I'm starting to think that I failed so many interviews because they stress and freak me out).
I understand when my Mom says "Asperger's Syndrome isn't an excuse". But sometimes it is a reason for say why I CAN'T be calm and "like an adult" when I feel sensory overloaded and too much is going on. Stuff like that. Or it's a reason that I socialize differently and find more comfort socializing on the computer sometimes. Or it's why I forget little things. It's not like I'm being rude to people and not doing anything around the house and then claiming I have a disorder for everything.
I wish sometimes that they could understand what it's like to be in my shoes. At least to understand how I can get frustrated and nervous when trying to talk about something and end up getting upset and yelling. I'm not always doing it to stress them out or something. If I'm emotional on a particular day it isn't always that I'm "in an evil mood today".
Sorry if I sound like I'm whining.
Re: Small things that annoy you
How old are your parents? I ask this because I can understand why they might be concerned about you spending "too much" time on the internet; it can be a way of avoiding interacting with the world around you or of escaping from real world problems. But if you've explained to them what you get out of the internet and what you're using it for, I don't get the objection. If they're not regular internet users and don't social media and don't have any internet friends themselves, it may be hard for them to understand that you can have meaningful relationships with people you only interact with on the internet. My dad has never even had an email. Ever. *shudders* My mom is super internet literate; she even teaches online courses. But I still have to remind her she can buy things online or look things up online, and she does no social media. They would be deeply suspicious of my online friendships if they were aware of them.
Sorry if this is too much diagnosing your ills without really knowing anything about them. And I'm not excusing your parents at all here. Just wondering if that's what's going on.
Re: Small things that annoy you
Um well,49ish I think. I'm pretty sure the issues isn't so much them worrying about safety because I think they're well aware for the most part that I've spent enough time online to be wary. I mean my dad jokes that people online are "fat guys in prison" but I think that's just a joke.
It's not so much them worrying but them just...thinking it's weird for me to spend a lot of time online. Like my dad will sometimes tell me to get off the computer for no other reason then I've been on it a lot. That's what it seems like. Personally I don't see the big deal. I do the dishes , and I always take out the trash and walk the dog, and I'm looking for a job.
Re: Small things that annoy you
That jives with how my parents would probably have reacted if I'd been living at home when the internet became ubiquitous.
I think your parents genuinely don't get that you can have meaningful interactions with people on the internet (which doesn't excuse them dismissing your feelings at all).
My parents used to be that way about me going outside. If they thought I'd been inside too long, even if I was doing something like reading, they'd send me out to play in the hot-ass summer with all the mosquitoes.
Re: Small things that annoy you
They don't I think. They are convinced it's some sort of "addiction".
My parents used to be the same, sending me outside when we were kids. They eventually stopped when we got older though.
Re: Small things that annoy you
Re: Small things that annoy you
Re: Small things that annoy you
I am a climate controlled individual. LOL
Re: Small things that annoy you