fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2781 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2781 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Game of Thrones]

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09. [broken]

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[Kevin Sorbo/Hercules: The Legendary Journeys]

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[Transformers: Prime]

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[Darkchylde]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 022 secrets from Secret Submission Post #397.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think that physical beauty will always be a huge part of how people judge you, what first impression they get, and how they'll treat you.

It might not be right, it might not be fair, but I think it's human nature and no amount of body positive movement will change that entirely.

I think you're absolutely right, much though it depresses me. :-/

This secret has been inspired by the fact that I'm apparently getting street harassed again now that I lost 12 kg...joy.

:( my sympathies. I deliberately put on weight to stop people coming up to me. I seem to atract the crazies when i'm skinny.

I attract the crazies even when I'm fat (never been skinny) but there seems to be a change in frequency.

I'm on the overweight side and that still doesn't stop dudes trying to hit on me or catcall me.

Yeah. Most men are scum to women regardless of the womans individual attributes. It is the way the world works right now. It is the way a society under men will always work.

No, most men aren't. What the fuck planet do you live on?

Yeah, I think you're right.

Yep this is depressingly true.

I just wish we could get to a point where there was less pressure on women specifically. I realize it effects both men and women but for women it just feels crushing, like if we're not beautiful then we have no value in society period.

I think part of this has to do with needing more variety of female shapes in the media. I think that's why people are more nonchalant if they see a heavyset guy, someone like Seth Rogan. We're just used to seeing a variety of men shapes that it's not unusual and doesn't usually catch our attention as strange.

But seeing a woman who's on the chubby side, we notice more because we're so used to seeing one shape in the media. And often that one shape is what we're all supposed to accept and/or aspire to be. I'd say it's even worse for women who are in between skinny and obese because those shapes are barely represented at all.

like if we're not beautiful then we have no value in society period

THAT attitude is in your head. First impressions are one thing. Value is another. You need to keep them straight. Many of the most high-powered women I know are not what would be considered "beautiful." They keep themselves up well, just like high-powered men do, but "beauty" has fuck-all to do with why they've succeeded in life.

Maybe. But why does it have to be this way for women alone?
If society judged everyone by the same shallow yardstick, I would be fine with having my beauty judged, but that's just not the way it is. Women are judged exclusively on their beauty, and men get to run around with fucking impunity. This is what drives me into a murderous rage. Not the judgement itself, but the freedom from judgment men enjoy.

I honestly do not think it's for women alone. I think it's more prominent with women, and on different levels.

I think you're right about judgement.

I think women get judged for not being pretty, and then judged for being too pretty...but ugly men, they just become invisible.

But, that's no joke either. I had this friend, well-educated, decent guy - but fat with that typical "piggish" face I guess. He's just ignored by women, even aggressively rejected, for even daring to show interest. Ad it's not just relationships, it's friends, too. Even for friends, people prefer handsome people.

And another friend who's ginger, with a face only a mother could love, underweight, short and pasty - and he's frankly not even trying to be in relationship anymore.

Incidentally, both these guys are also not successful on the job market - one has been unemployed years, the other is only employed by the grace of his dad, who IS successful (and quite handsome for an older man).

I do not know all the stats, but there's research saying taller men have higher wages - as do attractive people of both genders. Stuff like that.

And that's when you actually get past the hurdle of being employed in the first place - and once again,research shows candidates' looks are taken into account.

So I think you are, in part, right about the judgement - it's definitely worse for women, but there are other negative effects that definitely do go for both genders.

[ SECRET POST #2781 ]

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