fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2781 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2781 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Game of Thrones]

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09. [broken]

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[Kevin Sorbo/Hercules: The Legendary Journeys]

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[Transformers: Prime]

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[Darkchylde]

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Same.

I'm not offended by men holding the door open for me. I'm only offended by men who hold the door open for me because I'm a woman, and then won't do the same for men.

I'm also offended by men who get upset if I hold the door open for them - which is actually a thing that's happened to me. Because apparently holding a door open for someone is emasculating. -_-

I do this for guys at work.

And you wouldn't believe how many of them will stand in front of it and refuse to move until I go first. Maybe 2 out of 12 will go ahead and walk through.

Asshats.

I've had guys actually awkwardly reach around me and try to hold the door open, despite me already holding it, to try and be the one to hold it open for me to go through. I usually just tell them, "Dude, just go through" or "I've got it, just go", but still - what is even the logic in this?

it's just what you said above. it feels emasculating to not be "the gentleman"

such a stupid attitude. :| that sounds really annoying. do you work in a really guy-dominated workplace?

This is actually something I've done at school. My college study body skews towards young and multicultural enough that negative reactions aren't that prevalent. I'd say about a quarter react the same way the majority of women do (smile/nod/say thanks and walk through), about half will pause or stumble, and then just keep walking. Only the remaining quarter actually react, and react negatively, to seeing a woman - a petite and seemingly feminine woman at that - holding the door open for them.

My current workplace, thankfully, doesn't have much in the way of doors (and it's a minimum wage job with a fairly even split of genders, anyway).

I sometimes wonder if women ever feel weird about another woman holding the door open for them instead of a man, or if they really just notice I'm not a guy when I'm holding the door open for them.

Happened to me yesterday at 7-11. Held the door open for a guy and he chose to use the other door, despite the fact that I was holding the door wide open.

Men suck.

Happens to me all the time.

for that maybe he was just in a hurry or wanted to avoid getting in your space? I sometimes do that to people of either gender because I'm rushing and don't want to be awkward

Don't take it so hard. It's just one guy.

They do.

This right here. I hold the door open for everyone, it's common courtesy, but guys who turn it into a dick contest are the worst.

This is probably my biggest issue with chivalry. It's not just "being courteous", it's specifically people being courteous only for other specific people - and by default, not being kind or courteous to everyone else. If it really is just about being kind and courteous, why not call it that, and why not extend it to everyone?

I have yet to run into a good reason for why someone should only extend a certain courtesy to women but not to men - or why women shouldn't extend the same courtesy to men, too. I have once actually had someone try to argue that periods are a good reason for men to always give up their seats to women, which I pointed out as ridiculous as women are only on their period a quarter of the time, and men can just as easily feel like crap and want to take a seat as women.

Chivalry goes much deeper than that if you actually think about it. Lots of nasty insinuations about gender roles and obligations. Fuck the whole lot of it and just be nice to people, is how I see it.

[ SECRET POST #2781 ]

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