fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2783 ]

[ SECRET POST #2783 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2783 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 069 secrets from Secret Submission Post #398.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random pattern image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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07. http://i58.tinypic.com/2jeob4m.png

Did you find your friend's reaction humorous? Was it awkward or stressful? Did the news affect him/her more than you thought? Do you find yourself reacting this way to other deaths? I wouldn't worry about it honestly. Perhaps you didn't realize the reaction your friend would have and found it odd but unable to express that due to his/her reaction.

You're not evil or callous. Points to you for not laughing though you wanted to. Just examine why you wanted to laugh in the first place and come to terms with it.

Seconding this. Not only does it happen to people even in the most stressful circumstances, but it often happens DUE TO the stress they experience.

During my grandfather's funeral, there was this one woman whose guts he had hated. I knew he'd wanted her sacked (she was one of his caretakers along with me and my granny) and he'd complain about her any chance he'd got. Anyway, she proceeded to cry and tell a whole bunch of touching stories about their supposedly awesome relationship. I cracked up major way. I literally couldn't stop laughing (and let me tell you, even the quietest laughter in the absolute silence of a chapel sounds hella loud), to the point where I had to get up and go outside so as to avoid scandalizing others.

I think it was the combination of the stress that funeral brought and the ridiculousness of the poor woman's speech. And in a way, my reaction to how silly the speech in question sounded was actually amplified by my worry re:the funeral.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-08-17 01:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-08-17 01:36 (UTC) - Expand

I can easily see this being the result of incredulity or disbelief. I know that's how I felt at first (still do, a bit.)

Not really all that unusual. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nervous_laughter

You're not evil, OP. Many, many people get the inappropriate urge to laugh at the worst times. I get it at funerals, and it has nothing to do with me finding it funny and everything to do with the stress of the situation.

I had the same reaction. I think I was just so shocked... It's happened to me before. I knew it wasn't funny.

A lot of people react like that to death, it's truly not a bad reflection on you. And his seems to have hit a lot of people particularly hard for many reasons.

it's not so unusual; my mom can't go to funerals because she laughs so hard, and she can't control it. When I get really excited my teeth chatter... you don't really have a say in how your emotions physically manifest.

Literally the moment I got into the car after my uncle's funeral, I burst out hysterically laughing. I think it was the stress of having to sit through an hour ad a half of eulogies for a man I barely knew. It wasn't funny, but it was a release.

OP, I used to have this reaction at times when I was younger. I honestly think it's just nerves. It does not mean you are callous or uncaring. I've seen it happen to other people too, who are mortified, and say things like, 'I don't know what's up with me, I didn't mean to laugh.' And no, I don't think any-one does. I even saw some-one do it at a funeral once, and they definitely did not mean it. The mind and body are funny things, and sometimes we just cannot control them. Don't feel bad about it.

It just happens to some people. I'm much more likely to cry than laugh, but everyone's different and they are both ways of relieving stress. It doesn't make you a terrible person.

What everyone else said...

...or maybe you were remembering all the times he made you laugh, like that Mary Tyler Moore episode where Chuckles the Clown dies and Mary tries desperately not to burst out laughing at his funeral:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92I04DkMEps

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-08-16 23:40 (UTC) - Expand

I did that when I told someone Princess Diana died (yes, I am very old). I think it's just a nervous thing.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-08-16 22:51 (UTC) - Expand

Well umm.... at least you acknowledge something's not right with that?

Maybe your laugh was a laugh of disbelief, and not one of amusement.

It doesn't sound like you were amused by his death. It could have just been a reaction you couldn't control, because everyone reacts to death differently. I sort of sat there in disbelief after my friend told me. I honestly didn't think his death would hit me as much as it did.

Brain Side A: So hey, what's the totally wrong thing to do in this situation?
Brain Side B: I don't know, laugh?
Brain Side A: OKAY LET'S DO THAT A BUNCH

Clearly, it's a conditioned response. This is the first time in almost forty years that anything involving Robin Williams wasn't funny.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2014-08-17 18:26 (UTC) - Expand

At times the urge to laugh is deeply rooted in 'panic'. It's why we laugh when we are tickled, because our brain is telling us to panic.

There's a reason people talking about laughing because otherwise they'll cry.

People experience grief in some really strange ways. It's not always rational. But it's also not automatically "wrong".

Edited 2014-08-17 01:59 (UTC)

Nervous reaction, you were probably stressed

Depends what kind of laughter. If it was because you enjoy hurting people or think it was actually funny then that was a pretty shitty thing to do.

But there is also nervous laughter and it's not always with malicious intent.

I can't ever imagine laughing when telling someone about someones death though. I had to tell my sister about my dad's death and it's a completely heartbreaking experience. True you and your friend probably don't know Robin Williams personally so it's not the same, but he has been pretty impactful to a lot of people and their childhood.

I'll be honest with you. This is a reaction I don't get, because I'm one of those people who cries when sad and laughs when happy. But I've known by now enough people like you to have learnt this is a far common reaction than I had thought. People laughing at dramatic scenes at movies or plays, for example, or during exams. Hell, my own SO is like this.

Once, he accidentally hit me on the head with our car's trunk and the pain was so hard I had to sit on the floor while tears were coming out of my eyes and I was almost seeing stars like in cartoons. Soon the pain turned into rage when I saw him laugh out loud, and I so was ready to break up with his sorry ass in that moment because how dared he mock me when I was obvioulsy in such a big pain. He kneeled by my side and swore to me he was in panic but could not help laughing. Five years later he has proved he is indeed a caring man and I have learned he DOES laugh when stressed or preoccupied, but man, we had a lot of problems at the beggining of our relationship because of that.

In short, I can see why you wanted to laugh (and I can appreciate you trying not to, because for some of the most literal of us, that's a very hard thing to understand.)

Dude, try not to feel bad. Laughing or smiling is actually a normal nervous reaction to anxiety. It happens to tons of people. I do it all the time and I hate it. I feel like such an asshole, but I honestly can't help it. When that happens, I've actually started saying "I'm sorry, this isn't funny. I just get this nervous reaction sometimes and end up laughing/smiling." A lot of the time, people will reply that it happens to them sometimes too. That's helped.

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