fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2783 ]

[ SECRET POST #2783 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2783 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 069 secrets from Secret Submission Post #398.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random pattern image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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What small detail will make you give up on a fic?

My fandom is a scifi fandom with some human and some alien characters. In AU fics set on Earth, I cannot stand it when they write the alien characters as if they were humans living on Earth.

It feels like... some weird kind of cultural appropriation almost? As if their backstories, and planet of origin were completely irrelevant to the characters themselves.

Misspelling of character's names.

Summaries like "I know this sucks be gentle" turn me off immediately.

Non-canon nicknames.

Especially for Anime (and any Japanese canon really, even RPF). Like in the anime (or canon), the characters call each other by their last names (with -kun or -san). But in fic it's all "Mii-kun!" "So-chan!" etc etc.

And especially the "BAKA(name)" one. uHG UHG UHG. EX - The characters call a guy called Kazuya by his last name. But in the fic it's "BAKazuya" "Kaz-chan!" and UHG.

+1

I can forgive some non-canon nicknames (like an OC using a common shortening of a name) but a lot of nicknames don't even make sense. I see things shortened that are originally one or two syllables to...show intimacy, I guess? It's really lazy writing.

Summaries that have "I suck at summaries!" somewhere in them. It's a giant red flag for bad fic so I will skip that even if it's about my rarepair otp.

Stories that take forever to tell me who the pov character is. If there's more than three paragraphs with every kind of evasive epithet or pronoun to keep who the character is a 'secret' for some unknown reason I will back out.

Stories that have the characters name as the first word of the first sentence. I'll usually read a few more sentences just in case, but I find fics that start like that are often choppily written with all kinds of action and melodrama with few slower scenes to flesh them out.

Little things in dialog, like calling someone "love" when it's never happened in canon. I also read a Teen Wolf fic where Peter told someone to "hush" and that just didn't seem like a word he would use. And then Chris Argent was sitting on his lap at the breakfast table, because I guess that's what you do when you're mates, and I stopped reading.

Ugh. I hate when fic writers make characters call each other something they never did in canon, especially shortened versions of their names. Derek has never been called "Der" in canon that I recall and I know they wouldn't, so it just pulls me out of the story immediately. Sometimes the name is shortened to the point of being unrecognizable, like the Naruto fic I backed out of once where Naruto was called "Ru", Sakura was "Ra", and Sasuke was "Su".

Honestly, usually biology things. Some injury and death tw?

If someone's artery is severed, it would not take almost 12 hours for the person to notice. They'd be dead LONG before that without treatment.

And antagonistic characters being all sweet and lovey dovey with no, or really too little, explanation is one I often get annoyed by.

Designating a villain by inexplicably having them turn into a rapist or homophobe. It's lazy. Characters having 21st century values in times or places they make no sense.

"Characters having 21st century values in times or places they make no sense."

IA. This happens in published fiction, too. The character-type that irritates me is the completely feminist and independent woman in a Victorian/steampunk setting. Yes, feminist movements existed at that time, but you see what I mean. Characters who somehow get away with flouting all social rules and conventions, without consequences.

Having a character, at any point, explicitly pointing out the existence or lack of gender identity. It's fine in fic, but the characters I read? That discussion is never happening in a way that is remotely in character.

1. Use of the words 'orbs' or 'locks'. I turn my nose up at writers who used 'chocolate orbs' and 'golden locks' and I'm not even sorry.

2. Overuse of a pet name or nickname canon character has said maybe once or twice in 7 years.

3. phonetic accents. Like, "but Beel, mah hair!" "I ain't bovvered by it".

4. when a character is associated with specific scents - like Buffy's vanilla/lavender scented hair/skin/breath/poop.

5. fic in which women don't seem to exist.

"orbs" is such a weird one. I don't mind scents, but it does get bad when they're overused.

"globes" for buttocks is the one I lol at. NO ONE HAS BUTTOCKS SHAPED LIKE GLOBES. ESPECIALLY NOT MEN.

Oh my god yes, fuck phonetic accents.

Author's notes in the middle of a story. Immediate dealbreaker and I backbutton the hell out of there.

Misspelled character names. phonetically spelled accents. I won't even read it if it's too short or in first person.

Too much dialogue.

Snarky humor and banter in place of an actual plot.

Unwarned-for kinks or unwarned-for violence.

First-person POV.

Cruel humor, an overall snide tone, fics where I can sense the writer thinking "look how clever and witty I am!" instead of really focusing on the characters.

"I suck at summaries"

Flowery, "poetic" language, purple prose, too many metaphors, an emphasis on style over substance. Don't spend paragraphs telling me about the sunset, the stars, the rain, whatev.

People using a song lyric or a line of poetry as their title or their summary, and putting it all in lowercase, like e.e.cummings.

"he caressed her like the stars"

"we are cradled by the ocean"

Nonsensical stuff like that. Pretentious, and doesn't tell me what the story is ABOUT.

It's not just teenagers who do this. Seemingly intelligent writers do this. Apparently some people are too cool for capitalization, and they want to seem mysterious and "deep", hence the stoned-sounding phrases.

When the writer belabors the age difference or height difference between the two characters, when the difference isn't really that big, IRL. I know this is a common trope that apparently comes from the Asian yaoi genres, but it comes off as amateurish and silly.

Only a pre-teen thinks that a 36-year-old is "the older man" when compared to a 34-year-old. And no, somebody who's 5'9" doesn't seem like a giant to someone who is 5'7."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2783 ]

Fic pet peeves

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