[ SECRET POST #2783 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2783 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 069 secrets from Secret Submission Post #398.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 - random pattern image ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

But they didn't say "it's hard for me." They said that they basically don't get it and have no interest in trying to imagine things differently.

[(Anonymous)]

They said they're unable to understand because of the trauma and hardship of growing up with an alcoholic father, and therefore they're not able to enjoy media depicting other types of father-daughter relationships. Why should they try to imagine things differently, when all that will do is underscore how terrible their own childhood parenting experiences were and make them feel worse? It's not as though AYRT is going around telling other people that they have bad fathers and shouldn't love them; they're not inflicting their experiences or views on anyone else. But you seem to think that they're not entitled to be unable to connect with positive portrayals of father-daughter relationships because of their own abuse, that they owe it to others to ignore their own lived experience for the sake of empathizing with fictional representations of family dynamics that they've never had the privilege of experiencing.

Let me underscore that - positive family dynamics that AYRT has not had the privilege of experiencing. Because that's what having a happy and healthy family life is: a privilege. You're berating someone who experienced childhood trauma for failing to understand what it's like for people who had a supportive and loving paternal relationship. What the hell makes you think this is okay, or that AYRT is the one feeding into -isms here?

[(Anonymous)]

as OP of comment, thank you so much for defending me. <3

OP of comment

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry if I didn't use enough words to explain myself.

What I meant was that when I see a father and daughter have an amazing relationship, it (subconciously) makes me compare it to what I had going on with my father and it gives me bad feelings inside which I can't quite define. What I do know is that it confuses me because I don't feel capable of putting myself in their place, I don't know what it is supposed to feel like to love my father and feel comfortable enough around him to do something as simple as hug him.

I can, however, like a normal human being, imagine and understand perfectly well that daughters and fathers can have great relationships. I see it often enough, it must be a great feeling! But, as I said, the moment I try and envision myself and my father in their place, I simply have a strange feeling inside my stomach, something that screams at me that it is wrong to go near him, that it will end in pain and sorrow.

In short, I understand people can have good relationships, but inside it still confuses and even shocks me. I don't even rub it in anyone's faces, I don't judge them for anything, this is honestly the first time I ever mentioned it to anyone. So please, don't judge me.